


Inevitability of Time

by Sapphire_Princess



Category: James Bond (Craig movies), Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: 00Qsper, Alternate Reality, Cannon Divergent, Casino Royal - Freeform, F/M, M/M, Multi, Q before he's Q for a few chapters, Q has a name, Skyfall, Vesper ran in Venice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-08-27 04:35:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 35,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8387392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphire_Princess/pseuds/Sapphire_Princess
Summary: She was why they met.M had had enough of James tearing the world apart in search of Vesper Lynd after she'd left him in Venice. So she assigned him a new member of Q Branch to help find her. No one, not even M could have guessed where that would lead.





	1. Simon

**Author's Note:**

> This is the result of too much daydreaming about 'what if' senarios and possibly influenced - at least a little - by Casino Royal (the book).

It was how they met, or rather, she was why they met.

James Bond had been sent down to Q Branch by M to speak to one of the newer staff members who had been assigned to him.  
He was a bright smile in a room of harried computer scientists eagerly either hacking away or securing MI6’s firewall.

“007?” he’d asked, immediately grabbing Bond’s attention. Almost his height, dark brown hair in a seemingly untameable mop, and glasses. He was wearing a light blue shirt, grey trousers and a dark blue cardigan and couldn’t be older than 25. His smile was polite, almost formal but he seemed… eager underneath it all. “M told me to expect you.” He offered his hand and James shook it. “Would you like to follow me?”

“And you are?” James asked.

“Here to do what I can, this way please.”

He followed him into a room with high windows, tinted - like the rest of the building - but giving the room a bright an airy feel.

“You have an office?” he asked.

“Ah, no. I just thought you might appreciate the privacy. This is one of our meeting rooms, rarely used as Q doesn’t particularly like having to talk to us.”

James smiled. “Well, this is the longest conversation I’ve had with anyone in Q Branch since I’ve been here. I was wondering what I’d done to deserve the silent treatment.”

The answering smile he received was tight. “Yes, well, those of us who are happy to talk to agents are generally either not permitted to or work up here.”

“Any particular reason?”

“Q isn’t like his predecessor, Major Boothroyd. He runs the department…. how did M put it… with stoic indifference. He doesn’t much see the point in us interacting with the rest of MI6. It’s rather trying actually, especially when there are times when we need to.” He sat down, offered James the seat next to him and opened his laptop, connected it up carefully and set it up so quickly James couldn’t follow his typing. “Now I know this might be difficult, 007, but I need to know what you know, anything at all that might be helpful.”

James found himself a little speechless. Straight to business and genuine about it as well? 

“Who are you?” he asked.

He smiles. “It’s not customary for us to give out our names - unless we have to - but, if you promise not to disclose it or tell anyone I work with.” James nodded so he continued. “Simon.”

James, realising he wasn’t going to get any more than that, nodded. “James.” He offered his hand a gain and Simon shook it, smile warmer and wider than it had been before.

“There’s tea and coffee over there if you want to make yourself something. I’ll bring up what I know and what I’ve been able to find and we’ll go from there. If you like?”

“I’m fine for now.”

“Right, yes, well. Lets get started, as long as that’s okay?” he added, no doubt after seeing James’ expression change. “Or we can reschedule if you don’t want to do this today?”

James looked out of the window and out into the city. He didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to open the wound up again but M had noticed, noticed how he was still searching for her, wondering if she’d come back now that he’d taken Quantum apart.

And so she’d assigned James someone in Q Branch to search for her, even though it was unlikely that they would ever find her.

He took a deep breath and turned back to Simon.

“Show me what you have, I’ll try to fill in the gaps with what I know.”

Simon looked at him for maybe a moment longer than necessary but he didn’t ask any questions, didn’t push. Just opened up the first file and took James through everything he had so far on Vesper Lynd and her disappearance from Venice the year before.

****

James checks in with Simon once a fortnight when he’s in London, then once a week when he can. And, though he still asks for progress and any leads, he mostly just comes for Simon’s company and finds comfort in their developing friendship.

Simon seemed surprised every time James arrived unannounced for the fist few months but he eventually got used to it enough to replace his confusion with a friendly smile and a cup of coffee.

They have each others phone numbers already but James doesn’t ever use Simon’s to let him know he's on his way…. that level of planning seems slightly out his comfort zone.

He’s spent whole nights here when Simon was buried so far under his work load that he wouldn’t be leaving until the end of the next day, whiled away afternoons and even mornings when avoiding meetings or M’s wrath about something or another… but more often than not he’s there because he wants to spend time with Simon.

*

One night, about a year or so later, James finds himself heading along the corridors to Q Branch’s computer labs. There are a few people about but they’re mostly towards the other side of the room. 

Simon is sat with the young woman with dark red hair that he’d ‘rescued’ a few months ago - James’s words, not his - and it looks like they’re getting ready to head home.  
When he looks up and sees James he smiles, giving him a small wave and standing to meet him.

“I’ll see you at home later,” he says to Laura.

“Okay, sure,” she says, grabbing her bag. “Nice to see you again, 007.” Her smile is bright and genuine. 

“Have a good evening, Laura,” James can’t help but say. He knows exactly what to make of the irrational jealously that’s chosen to rear it’s ugly head but it surprises him, bringing the man he’d accidentally’ come to see into a new, sharper focus.

“I’m sure I told you that she lives with me,” Simon remarks, unplugging his laptop and making to follow James to one of the offices.

James takes Laura’s seat instead and Simon swivels in his chair to look at him.

“Is everything alright, 007?”

James’s attempt at smiling must fall flat because Simon stands. “Come on, I know it’s quiet but privacy might be a better option.”

James follows him, noting how tightly Simon holds his laptop to his chest.

Once they’re inside the room he makes tea for himself, then turns to James. “I brought my earl grey in today, do you want any?”

“Please.” It’s the only tea James likes enough to drink and he doesn’t think he could handle coffee at the moment.

Simon puts it in front of him on the table, taking the seat at his side.

“Is this about….” he nods to the laptop on the spare seat in the room. He refuses to put it anywhere near liquid. James hasn’t said so but he finds it endearing. 

James shakes his head. “No, no. I actually think I resigned myself to never finding Vesper weeks - if not months - ago.” He sighs out warily, surprised by his own honesty. “She doesn’t want to be found and I don’t know how much longer I can keep trailing after her.”

“I’ll look for her for as long as you want me to, if I find her and you don’t want to make contact then that’s your choice but… only if you want to.” James gives a slight nod of his head. “I do have other projects, several in fact, please don’t think that it takes up all of my time.”

“I know.” 

Over the last year he’s confessed more to Simon about Vesper than he ever thought he could bare to. Simon, in return - though James has never pushed - told him what had happened with his own parents, a subject he’d never broached with anyone before. 

They are close, James would call them friends but there’s something else there, at least for him. He wonders if his wounds are closed enough to try… or if maybe it would be better to leave things be.

“I used to think that if I could be sure she was safe….” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry, Simon.”

“For what?” he asks gently, sipping his tea but keeping a close eye on James at the same time.

“For ruining your plans for this evening for starters.”

He smiles, shaking this head. “James, my plans for this evening were to lounge about with my cat and convince my grandparents it’s their turn to cook.”

James turns to him and Simon laughs, actually laughs.

“Laura is my friend. She lives with me and my grandparents. I couldn’t quite stand the thought of her living on her own after everything she’s been through and she accepted. Have I really not told you?”

James feels a little guilty. “I don’t think I’ve ever asked. I just seem to come down here and… well.”

Simon eyes him carefully, like James has seen him do when he’s trying to work out a particularly difficult problem.

“James, please don’t take this the wrong way and please don’t feel like you have to, but, you could come back with me this evening, my grandparents won’t mind. Or,” he says after silence descends between them. “If you ever want to get out and do something that isn’t sit in one of our lovely rooms and talk, we can.”

The offer is genuine and something inside of James breaks, just a little. Simon is asking as his friend, because he’s concerned about him, because James has never tried to be anything but what he is with this man who’s a whole twelve years his junior.

He really, really should say no. This is not a thing he agrees to - ever. He doesn’t spend time with colleagues out side of work and he’s not normally friends with them either.

But, selfishly, James is tired and worn out. Exhausted and still bruised after his last mission and with M refusing to let him out in the field again for at least another week, he has time, and he really, really doesn’t feel like drinking himself into oblivion or bedding someone for the sake of it.

“Alright. Do I need to clear it with M?”

Simon looks shocked and it takes him a good few seconds to answer. “Really?”

James nods. “Yes, really. I could…. I could really do with the company.”

He nods and reaches into his pocket for his phone. “No, you won’t need clearance from M, I’ve already secured the house and my grandparents have been vetted and you know the rules about… of course you do. I’ll, um, call them and get my things. Do you need to?” He waves his hand at James’ suit.

“I’ll get my coat. Meet you outside Q Branch in fifteen minutes?”

Simon smiles. “Yes, yes, okay.”

*

James is worried he’s made some kind of colossal mistake when he goes to get his coat. _Is this really such a good idea?_ He likes Simon, he likes Laura… but his last family dinner was too long ago to remember and he isn’t used to being that kind of person. He closed it off to himself a long time ago. 

Others have family connections though, Bill is newly married and M has a husband. It’s just that the last person he wanted to spend his life with, to have that with, left him in Venice with a half empty bank account and a shattered heart.

But Simon’s smile, when he sees that James is really, actually stood outside Q Branch’s main entrance, makes his mind up for him.

James smiles back, unable to deny the warmth blooming in his heart at the sight. He doesn’t know what Simon wants - or will accept - from him but he finds, for the first time in over two years, that he wants to find out.

*

His Grandparents are lovely, friendly and welcoming. James is introduced as Simon’s friend from work and is accepted as such. Laura seems happy to see him, popping her head out the music room to say hello when he gets there.

They all talk, James meets Feynman - Simon’s one year old cat - then they sit down to dinner in the large kitchen.

It’s not awkward, Simon’s grandparents seem like the kind of people to welcome others into the fold; abandoned grandchildren, a rescue cat, a young woman with a difficult past… and James. 

No one pries, no one assumes he’s Simon’s boyfriend and instead he’s allowed to be himself. They know he was in the navy and they assume - rightly - that he has seen things that no one should have to and offer him the quiet respect they think he deserves.

“James?” Simon asks after dinner, standing just inside the door of the lounge. 

“Hm?” He realises he’s been staring out of the window into the front garden for long enough for the remains of his tea to cool. Feynman is happily sat on his lap, purring gently whenever he runs his hand down her back.

“Can I join you?”

“It’s your house,” he says warmly. 

Simon takes that as permission and closes the door behind him, sitting next to James on the sofa but leaving a polite distance between them.

Feynman stands and stretches, taking up the space between them, vying for as much attention as she can get.

It’s not late, the clock on the mantel reads half past eight and neither of them need to be in work in the morning - which makes a change. James realises that this is probably the first time they’ve spent time with each other without a time constraint. 

He’ll stay as long as he’s welcome.

Simon doesn’t say anything for a while, it seems he actually did just want the company.

“James?” he asks at last. “Do you really want me to stop looking for her?”

He shakes his head and lets out a long breath. “No. I still want to know that she’s safe but you don’t… you don’t have to treat it as a priority.”

“Okay.” He sounds upset but he’s hiding it well. Without the training James has had, most wouldn’t be able to tell.

“I haven’t been visiting you just to check your progress.” The reassurance seems necessary and he wonders what Simon has thought about it all this time. “That’s not why I’m here.”

Simon nods. “No, I know, I realise that. And I enjoy your company. I just want to know what you want me to do, M won’t order me to stop looking into it unless you tell me to and it’s been useful in other ways as well.”

James knows exactly what he’s referring to, there seems to be something else… an undercurrent connecting some of the criminal organisations. It’s been keeping James and several other agents busy in the field - as well as closer to home.

“Simon?” James finds himself asking once he’s finished talking. “Is everything okay?”

He curls up on the sofa and moves Feynman into his lap. “Yes and no,” he says, stroking her grey fur. 

“You can tell me,” James offers.

“Can I?” he says and sounds so sad that James almost, almost reaches out to him.

“Simon.” James readjusts to be sitting facing him but keeps his hands in his lap.

“You should know, James, I tend to be very honest with those I can trust.”

He finds himself smiling, sad yet hopeful, in return. “So do I.” He never lied to her, never wanted to. His throat burns and he swallows. It didn’t make a difference in the end.

“You still love her, don’t you. Even after everything.”

Silence crashes around James’ ears and his breathing stutters. Simon, who looks as though he’d expected this response, looks away.

“I’m sorry, I did warn you.”

“Yes, I do,” he says around the lump in his throat, his next breath is shaky but he doesn’t try to hide it. Simon deserves better. “But that’s not… Simon… we know enough now to know that she chose to leave, if it was just the threat of Quantum then she could have come back, could have contacted me… anything… at any time.”

“We don’t know that.”

“If she was resourceful enough to escape their clutches and stay hidden - and we know that she was, then…” he trails off and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’ve seen the letter she left for me, if there was a code or a cipher hidden within it then you would have found it months ago. She gave me enough clues to lead me to Quantum and Mr. white but that was all. She said she wanted a fresh start… after all this time I don’t think she was lying. Simon, as much as I may miss her and as much as I love her… she left me. I won’t haunt her if she doesn’t want me. Love isn’t enough sometimes.”

Simons breathing is shaky, his hazel eyes watery, and his words, when he speaks them are so filled with sorrow that James is almost overcome. “But she’s haunting you. If I could find her for you I would but I can’t.… I can’t imagine her ever leaving you willingly… she tried to hard to stay, James…”

James reaches for him and places his hand on his knee.

Simon starts at his touch, Feynman nuzzling closer to him and pawing at his jumper. His hands in her fur are shaking.

“Simon, why didn’t you say something?” He wants to tell him that Vesper is his ghost alone, Simon doesn’t deserve to be so affected.

“Because I didn’t want to let you down. You seem happiest when we’re talking or whenever I find something - no matter how small - and I kept thinking that if I could just find her for you, that you’d… you look so sad sometimes that I…” He shakes his head and it seems he has run out of things to say. “Could you, I just need a minute.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

As he waits for Simon’s reply, emotions he recognises, feelings he thought burnt out and destroyed are so strong and so present he’s resonating with it.

Inwardly he knows this is about as surprising as realising he was jealous of Laura. He also knows why he keeps visiting Simon, why their time together is starting to mean so much. He wishes he could hate himself for it but he can’t, for once finding sympathy for his bruised and battered heart. And it’s not because he’s trying to find Vesper. Simon is efficient enough not to need checking up on.

“No.” 

James can both see and feel how much that hurt to say. 

“Simon, can I get you anything? Tea? Something stronger?” He squeezes Simon’s his knee, needing him to know he's here but not knowing how to offer what he wants to.  
Can he really expect Simon to want to be with him when he knows about Vesper? James has shared things with him that he’s not shared with anyone else, about her… about everything. Thinking about it idly is one thing, being faced with it now - or at least he thinks that’s whats happening - is something else. 

“Tea?”

James squeezes his knee again and stands, managing to conceal just how much his legs are shaking.

“Do you think Laura would mind if I asked her? I have no idea where anything is.”

“She’s next door.”

James leaves the room, reassuring him he’ll be right back before stepping outside and putting on his best calm and clear expression.

Laura’s practicing her flute in the music room when he knocks and asks for tea. She obliges, her eyes are sharp and focussed on him.

“I’ll bring them to you, give me five minutes or so? I’ll nock, don’t worry.” She pats his arm and heads into the kitchen. Maybe asking someone to make tea is some kind of code within this house hold, but James doesn’t lose time to his concerns and goes back to sit next to Simon until Laura returns with tea. She doesn’t step inside, just offers him a small tray with two cat mugs and a packet of Jaffa cakes.

“They’re his favourite. I’m next door, text me if you need anything else.” She closes the door and a few seconds later the faint sounds of her playing can be heard over the silence in the room. 

James places one mug within Q’s reach and the other in front of himself. He gets a faint smile at the Jaffa cakes but he doesn’t feel any better for it, not when it’s clear he’s been crying.

“I really did just invite you because I thought you might like the company. I didn’t mean to get so… upset,” Simon tells him, once he feels okay enough to reach for his tea and take a sip. “I’ve been meaning to say something for a while… I just couldn’t seem to find the time or an opportunity.”

“Tell me what?” James prods.

“That I think I’ve become more… involved than I should be. That although I could never, never condone her actions and leave you, I do think I’m starting to have some appreciation for why she needed you to be safe.”

James chooses his words very carefully in the silence that follows and makes sure he has Simon’s attention before he speaks. “You’re not alone in this, just far quicker than me at figuring it all out.”

“So you, you want…”

James bows his head and looks to the man at his side. “Yes, but I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

Simon deflates, tea left on the coffee table. He curls up again.

Feynman moves to the arm of the sofa, but keeps her wary eyes on James. He doesn’t blame her at all.

“I could find her at any point or she could come back and I… I’m not presumptuous enough to consider myself an option for you… I just need to know what to do so it doesn’t become an issue.”

The thought of her coming back, of Simon trying to be happy about it, to put on a brave face… It leaves James cold. 

He wonders if this is how she felt…. if this is exactly how she felt. He swallows and takes deep breaths.

“I love her, you know I do. I think I always will, no matter how I want to feel about it. But that doesn't mean there isn’t room for anyone else or that I would forsake one for the sake of the other. Even if Vesper did come back tomorrow, turned up on my doorstep and declared herself back for good.” 

Simon’s eyes are closed again. James can’t reach for him, it would feel wrong to do so without first explaining himself.

“I don’t trust her and given that she’s not here… I’m not sure I could learn how to do so again. A relationship, anything like that can’t survive on love alone. If you can’t trust them or they can’t trust you… it doesn’t work. I trust you, Simon.”

“I trust you too.”

James smiles sadly at him. “I’m a mess, you know that. And my job is dangerous sometimes - most of the time.”

“I know.”

“And,” he adds, knowing it’s now or never. “I can’t stand the thought of breaking your heart.”

Simon’s eyes open and lock with his. 

“I understand,” he says, taking deep calming breaths and removing his glasses for long enough to wipe his eyes and brush the remaining tears from his cheeks.

“I also don’t avoid something just because it’s not going to be easy,” James adds, once he knows he can see him clearly, thinking that maybe Simon doesn’t really know what he’s offering.

“And I don’t like giving up on people,” Simon replies after a moment, voice shaking almost as much as his hands.

James opens his arms to him, gathering Simon up and holding him against his chest, his head cradled gently at his shoulder. He cries and James does too, soothing and stroking his back and nuzzling against his hair.

Simon laughs weakly when Feynman joins them, choosing to lay over them both. James has no intention of moving her, and after a while, finds the gentle sound of her purring calming his mind. 

They sit curled up together for a long time, moving only to finish their tea and for Simon to quietly munch on Jaffa cakes.

“Do you have any plans tomorrow?” James asks when its getting late enough that he should really be heading home.

“Besides sleep?” Simon replies, sounding a bit more like his usual self.

“Obviously.”

“No, not really. What do you have in mind?”

“I haven’t decided, can I pick you up about 9 and take you to breakfast?” He knows, somehow, that if he leaves now and next sees him at work that Simon is liable to pretend this didn’t happen, to let it be pushed aside. James can’t - and won’t - dance around this or ignore it, not now he’s realised what it is.

“Are you sure?” Simon asks, clearly thinking along similar lines.

James smiles against his hair. “Yes, I’m sure.” 

“Alright, yes. I’ll be ready at 9.”

*

Only Simon seems surprised when James arrives promptly the next morning. His grandfather shakes James’ hand warmly and both his grandmother and Laura hug him.

Once the door is closed behind them, he offers his hand.

“Shall we?” he asks.

Simon’s smile is warm and hopeful, he weaves their fingers together and nods. 

“Yes.”


	2. James

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A photo album, a holiday, and a new cat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many, Many thanks to those who've left Kudos or comments. Cannot adequately express my thanks, but here is another chapter!

Five months later - five good but sometimes difficult months - Simon asks if he can take James out. Their work means it’s not unusual to have days off during the week and as James is once again on enforced downtime, he agrees readily. 

He was only gone for a week this time but he misses Simon when he’s away, misses his warmth next to him in bed or knowing he’ll be in Q Branch the next morning. They are taking things slowly, far slower that either of them have done in the past but it’s working well enough for them.

Simon hasn’t stopped looking for Vesper, but given most of the programs he’s written can run themselves, he just checks up on them every now and again and sets them up to alert him of any potential sightings or information.

There haven’t been any, but once again his searches have lead to interesting intel and MI6 has been acting on it.

It’s also becoming clearer and clearer to James that Simon, Laura and several within Q Branch aren’t too fond of how their branch is being run. They don’t outwardly say it but James has seen Simon after a meeting - or after making a proposal or explaining improvements - and he’s rarely pleased.

His answer to this seems to be throwing his energy either into his work or in helping Laura out with her PhD, he’s also wrangled permission from M to work on more practical projects, upgrading weapons and communication devices. 

Keeping busy to deal with his issues seems to be his preferred method of coping and James joins him as often as he can, finding it a more fulfilling evening than drowning himself in a bottle of scotch.

They meet at Simon’s house and James joins them for breakfast, Laura’s out at uni but his presence seems required - though not just by Simon. James is happy enough to spend time with them and he knows that it won’t ruin their plans.

“So,” James asks as they head to the nearest tube station. “Where are we going?”

Simon’s smile is wide and warm and lovely. “The National Gallery.”

James leans in to kiss him. “Any particular reason?” he asks when they part.

“I’ve always wanted to go there on a date and you did say I should choose this time.”

James slides his arm around his waist. “I’m not complaining in the slightest.”

*  
They take their time and Simon shows James his favourite paintings; Surprised! By Rousseau - a childhood favourite he’d been happy to see when he’d first moved to London, Monet’s Snow Scene at Argenteuil, as well as several Turner paintings.

James is fond enough of art to like looking around but there is something in Simon’s honest enthusiasm that makes this feel more worthwhile than if he was alone and passing the time.

“Can we sit down?” he asks, gesturing to the love seat in front of The Fighting Temeraire.

James obliges, noting how little space there is for two people to sit comfortably. For all it’s beauty the painting in front of them is not romantic, not in that sense anyway.

“Another one of your favourites?” James asks.

“Yes. Though I’ll happily sit in front of most Turner paintings. His sunsets and sunrises are magnificent.”

“Hm, they are.”

“They’re closing this room for a day or so next week, to rearrange a few of the paintings and change the seating, and I wanted to see it before hand, so…”

“You don’t need to explain why you wanted to come here, I like this; spending time with you, learning more about your interests and hobbies. I want to be here, Simon, I promise.”

Simon smiles and leans into him.

“Sometimes you’re so quiet that I can’t tell.”

“Am I not allowed to appreciate art?”

Simon laughs gently and turns his head to kiss James’ cheek.

“What do you want to do for the rest of the day?” James asks, knowing that even Simon can’t spend all day in the gallery.

“Lunch and then..” he tips his head to the side, eye brows raising just a little bit.

“Do you want to come back to mine?” James offers. 

“Please, if it’s okay.”

“Of course it is. Are you in work tomorrow?”

Simon shakes his head. “M told me to take the week off, she’s pointed out that I’ve been a little… overworked recently.”

“Hm, we can talk about that later,” James tells him, worried about the amount of work he’s been putting in to try and implement the changes he wants, whilst having to fight at every turn.

“If you like.”

“Do you need to get anything from home first?”

“No, everything I need is already at yours.”

James grins, happiness washing through him at the carefree statement. Simon can’t see his expression but James wonders what would happen if he could.

*

“Here,” James says later, warm kisses interrupted by his brief trip to his locked bedroom drawer. “This is for you.”

Simon takes what James offers but looks up at him in disbelief. 

“You already know the alarm code and it felt like time,” James tells him.

He’s had the key for well over a month, Laura cut it for him one afternoon when Simon was in a meeting with the head of logistics. 

Simon swallows and lowers his hands to his lap.

“James…” The insecurity he once seemed to be so overcome with is visible again, dampened and weak, but still there.

Sometimes James thinks Vesper haunts Simon as well as him, other times he _knows_ she does.

“I want you to know that you’re welcome here anytime.”

Simon nods and James sits forwards enough to notice that he’s biting his bottom lip on one side as his chest rises and falls quicker than it had been minutes before. He runs his fingers over the key’s smooth surface, follows the pattern of the teeth and back up to the top. 

“Thank you.” When he manages to look up at James, he’s smiling. Tears gather and threaten to fall but James doesn’t think these are sad tears.

He places it carefully on the table next to his phone and shuffles along, kissing James with something close to reverence.

James wonders, distantly, if it’s the right time to tell him that he loves him but thinks it might all be too much for one day, so instead he closes his eyes and loses himself in Simon. He opens his mouth when Simon’s tongue runs along his lips, and helps to slip his shirt off once all the buttons are undone.

When Simon latches onto his neck and sucks a mark there he moans and presses his hips upwards, holding him closer and breathing out against Simon’s neck.

 _‘I love you,’_ he kisses into his skin. _‘I love you so very much.’_

***  
They’re in Osbourne House on the Isle of Wight a couple of months later - taking an actual holiday away together - when James puts his arms around him and says; “I love you.”

Simon leans heavily back against him, eyes closed but smile soft and wonderful in the dappled sunlight from the vines in the arch overhead.

“I love you too.” Simon turns in his arms and kisses him, hands in his hair and lips warm and insistent. 

It’s quiet so no one else sees them, sees Simon kiss tears away from James’ cheeks or hears the moment it strays a little too far away from acceptable in public.

***  
There’s a photo album tucked at the back of James’ wardrobe, filled with all the pictures Vesper and he took on their holiday together. 

To this day he doesn’t know why he had it printed.

One morning, a few months after the Isle of Wight, he leads Simon by the hand after breakfast and asks if he can show him something.

“Anything,” Simon tells him. “Anything at all, James. You know you can.”

“Even this?” he asks, offering up the pale green album. It’s nothing fancy and he put it together one night a long time ago, getting through most of a bottle of scotch as he did.

Simon runs his hands down the first page where James’ hand writing says:

_‘James and Vesper, 2006’_

“Why?” he asks kindly. “Is there anything in here that might help me to find her?” The program still runs, Simon still checks and updates it.

“Because I’m not as angry or as sad as I was, and she…. is… was important to me. Simon, she lead me to you… and I want…”

“It’s okay,” Simon soothes. “You really don’t have to explain any further. He takes James’ had within his own and squeezes. “I understand. We should probably be somewhere a bit more comfortable… unless you’d rather it stay in here?”

James shakes his head, staring at Simon in wonder for a moment before they leave the room.

They settle on the sofa, television turned off and music playing softly in the back ground - one of Simon’s classical playlists that he uses to calm his mind.

They go through the pages one at a time, Simon asking about the places they’d visited and James tentatively offering explanations and small stories.

He knows Simon takes photos of them when they’re out all the time. A couple sit in frames in James’ front room and there is one on his bedside table as well. There’s also a small selection in Simon’s house. 

“She really is beautiful,” Simon comments, running his fingers over a photo of Vesper looking out at the ocean early one morning. She hadn’t known James was watching her until after the photo was taken.

What surprises him most, though, is that she doesn’t look sad - as she does in a few of the others he took by surprise - she looks happy, contented.

“The most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on,” James says without thinking, but when he looks at Simon he doesn’t seem hurt or even worried, just wistful.

“Yes, I think she might be, for me as well, I mean.” The admission is quiet and soft, and his small smile is warm.

“Do you…”

“Yes, a little. Is that… okay? The way you talk about her, everything I’ve found out. I know that I can’t possibly, that it doesn’t work like that but, I still, I can understand why you love her so much.”

“Simon.” Their eyes meet and Simon’s smile gets a little warmer, a little wider.

It’s impossible and it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t - _can’t_ \- change anything, but it melts something in James’ heart that he didn’t realise was still frozen. 

“I love you,” he finally manages to say.

Simon leans over and kisses him. “I know that,” he says against his mouth. “And you know I love you too, I just wanted you to know. I won’t stop looking.”

“And I won’t ever give you up.”

Simon rubs their noses together.

“Let’s finish looking at this then let me take you back to bed.”

“Alright.”

*  
They’re more gentle with each other than they ever have been before, Simon prepares James carefully, taking him slowly with reverence in every touch, every action.

James feels overcome and taken apart in the best possible way. He holds Simon to him, runs his fingers through his hair and breathes his name out against his ear.

When he feels him come inside him, he’s enveloped in the warmest sensation from head to toe that he thinks he’s ever felt. He muffles his cries against Simon’s shoulder as he joins him, satiated and blissful in the afterglow.

They shower and go about the rest of their day; Simon getting some work done on his laptop at James’ kitchen table and James reading his way through the latest SciFi book series to catch his attention.

*  
When they’re getting ready to head over to Simon’s house later for dinner with his family it feels different, like something has shifted. 

James finds himself back in the wardrobe, in the same box that held the photo album.

“Is everything okay?” Simon asks. “Do you want me to go and get it?”

“No, no, I think we should leave it in the front room… There’s just… here it is.” He puts back everything he’d dislodged and hands over a memory card.

“They’re all still on here, you can have it, if you want it, to save them to your computer or to have them printed again.”

Simon holds it the way he once did the key to James’ flat.

“I’ll return it once I’m done. Are you sure?”

James nods. “I trust you.”

Simon hugs him tightly, one hand fisted around the memory card. James lets out a long and quiet breath against his shoulder. 

“I can’t speak for her,” he says, voice muffled by the fabric of the coat. “But I can’t help but think she would like you.”

They stand together, each holding the other close and tightly for a while longer. James wonders what on earth he ever did to deserve the man in his arms. He feels more real, more solid than Vesper ever did and maybe, maybe this time James will be enough, enough for him to stay.

Vesper’s leaving devastated him so he knows he won’t survive losing Simon. He hopes he never has to.

***

Q Branch is in chaos when James heads down there for lunch a few months later.

Laura is there but Simon - as well as several others - are notably missing.

“What’s going on?” he asks, standing at Simon’s desk.

“We found something, not, not Vesper, but we were looking into something else - another criminal organisation and we think we’ve found a pattern, a connection to Mr. White. Simon wants us to look into it but Q isn’t too keen. He thinks it’s a waste of time and doesn’t want to alert anyone he might hack to our presence… which might also be because he refuses to let us implement the latest security updates we’ve been working on.”

“Why?” 

“Because he doesn’t think it’s a good enough use of our budget. He’s brilliant at gadgets… but not so good with us.” 

James sighs, he’s heard this several times already but it is not his place to get involved. It would cause more harm that good and Simon can look after himself. 

“Where are they?”

“Speaking with Tanner, along with the heads of Engineering and Weapon Development.”

“So why is everyone else…” he gestures to the excited chatter and running about.

“Because nothing this exciting ever really happens here. It’s mostly just a lot of coding and infiltrating enemy networks or protecting our own.”

“Do you want me to get you anything?” James offers after watching her work for a few minutes.

“Tea?”

James nods, using the key he has to Simon’s tea drawer to get a couple of bags - pocketing an extra one just incase - and heading to the back of the room.

He sits with Laura for well over an hour, slowly drinking tea and chatting about this and that; her PhD, her work, and the prospect of Simon getting another cat.

When Simon comes back he’s calm on the outside but James can see the fire burning in his eyes. He’s off to make tea before Simon can tell he’s there, placing it in front of him when he slumps into his chair.

“Meeting not go well?” James asks.

Simon’s expression softens when he sees him. “Don’t you have any work to do?” he asks without malice.

“I completed my post mission fitness test and target practice this morning. Couldn’t think of anything better to do.”

Simon sips his tea for a few minutes and sends a couple of emails before finally responding to the original question.

“It went as well as expected, actually. Tanner is handing everything over to M then she’ll decide what to do with it. In the meantime it’s back to work as usual, though I’m at least allowed to finally implement the changes to our encryption software. Anywhere as secure as MI6 shouldn’t have sensitive information on hard drives with easy to decipher encryption codes.”

“Go on,” James prods gently.

“They won’t let me implement any of the other changes. Tanner says M will look over the proposals but if Q turns them down - and he will - it still won’t help.” He turns to James. “Are you really going to spend all afternoon down here?”

He shrugs. “Is there a computer I can use to fill out my post-mission report? It might worry M if I actually write one.”

Simon opens his desk and pulls out a laptop, connects it to the secure ethernet on his desk and points James in the direction of an extra chair.

James doesn’t bother him further, just stays at his side and types up his report, fetching tea and food when requested, and generally taking his time.

When he sends the report he gets a rather quick - and sharp - reply from M telling him he can feel free to spend as much time in Q branch (of course she knows where he is) as he likes if it means he does his reports on time in future.

***

Simon does get a new cat - Tesla - a grey tabby not more than six months old. Feynman adapts well and the whole household seem happy with the new addition. James now finds himself spending as much time with them in their house as he does at his flat with Simon.

He’s deliberately there early this evening, Laura and Simon aren’t due back until later.

Simon’s Grandfather - William - seems to know exactly why he’s there the moment he opens the door.

“It’s taken you long enough, James,” he says kindly, leading him into the kitchen. His Gloucestershire accent is at once welcoming and a comfort. “But I know from what my grandson has said that you’ve been hurt badly in the past, and that you weren’t - either of you - in any rush.”

James smiles and takes the seat he’s offered.

“I still thought it prudent to ask your permission, as old fashioned as that might seem.”

William raises his eyebrows. “You make him happy and it’s clear how much you love each other; that’s enough for me.”

James nods and takes the cup of coffee William hands him. 

“Tell me, though, where will you live?”

“I don’t know. I was going to talk to Simon about it after I propose. My flat isn’t big enough for the cats and I know how happy he is here.”

William nods but doesn’t say anything else on the matter. “And when will you ask him?”

“Whenever I can. I know he’s not likely to appreciate being taken out to dinner and spoilt, and I don’t want to wait until we’re away again.”

William looks out the window and then back to James. “I think I’ll encourage my wife and granddaughter to go for a walk after dinner, if that would help.”

James smiles and puts down his coffee. “I think it would.” He has the ring in his pocket, just incase.

*

James isn’t down on one knee, but he is sat facing him on the sofa, box in his palm and held out.

“Will you marry me?” he asks softly, opening the box to show Simon the ring. “I love you, Simon, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Simon tells him, quiet and insistent, launching himself onto James and kissing him soundly. “But give me just a minute.” He leaps off James as quickly as he leapt on. 

He can hear him darting up the stairs to his room then thundering back down them again.

He’s flushed and happy when he comes back, a small box held in his own hand.

“I didn’t know if I could ask, if I should ask, but well… I’ve been working on this for a while.” He sits himself in James’ lap. “I know you won’t be able to wear it out in the field, but I wanted… I really wanted… I love you.”

They exchange rings with shaking hands and happy smiles.

“How long is everyone going to be out?” Simon asks.

“We can’t.” James tells him. “Neither of us are subtle enough for that.”

“I’ll come back with you tonight, then.” Simon leans in and kisses him and James is so overwhelmed by it he almost suggests heading upstairs anyway… almost. “Oh shit.”

“What?”

“What about the cats?”

“What about the cats?”

“If I move in with you. Your flat’s spacious enough for London but not big enough for them.”

James laughs, pressing his face into Simon’s jumper.

“We can buy a house.” When he sits back up to look at him, Simon is staring in astonishment.

“You did say that you wanted to marry me, is a house really a bigger step?”

He shakes his head. “Can we afford a house?”

James laughs against his neck, kissing the skin there all the way up to his hairline. 

“Yes, we can afford a house.”


	3. Q

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promotions, new homes and new names.

Things at work blow up - so to speak - after that. It seems that they have accidentally stumbled upon a hornets nest. A very large one, and what they find out has the whole of MI6 busy for months and months. The CIA were called in and James - along with Felix Leiter - are on their way back from a three-week long mission to take down a group referred to as Spectre, or at least, to cut off it’s head.

His summons to M’s office does come as a surprise, though. The last time he’d been called in she’d told him to go ahead with his suggested changes to their systems and given a larger budget to do so.

It’s not been an easy ride, there have been several attempts to take them down, steal government equipment and a very narrow escape with a very sensitive hard drive that lead to Agent Ronson’s current promotion to 008. The fact that he’d personally safe guarded that drive with every encryption he and his team could think of didn’t provide him with too much peace of mind. 

These last few months have taught him that just because he’s one of the best, doesn’t mean he’s unbeatable forever and he’s been striving to stay on top.

“Please, come in and sit down.” 

He does as he’s told, sitting in the chair offered to him and staring at her desk.

“Q took voluntary retirement this morning. I have his letter of resignation in front of me. It seems that he’s become an unpopular voice in his own department and has - on record - objected to most of the changes you’ve wanted to implement for years. For all the good he’s done for us, it seems there have been areas in which he lacks. Boothroyd did warn me before he retired that this might be the case but there hasn’t been anyone better suited. Until you.”

He stays silent, wondering what she’s going to say next.

“I’m offering you the job of Quartermaster. As our new Q you will become head of Q Branch and finally be able to unify it enough to get the job done. Your budget will be increased as deemed necessary - and I believe it’s necessary. There are a few things that will need to be sorted as quickly as possible; Your new ID and authorisation is being sorted as we speak, I trust you to know how to activate and set everything up?”

“Yes, M,” he says, realising he hasn’t exactly agreed to any of this, not that he’s going to decline.

“And I need to know who you want as your reserve, your R as it were, as well as department heads and that sort of thing.”

“Laura, as R, her record is exemplary and she’s just finished her PhD. The other department heads can stay as is, they’re all excellent at their jobs.”

“Alright, that’s fine with me, I’ll advise Tanner to make the necessary changes, please send Laura to my office after we’re finished here.”

“Yes, M, certainly.”

“There is something else as well.”

“Please, go on,” he sounds nervous - even to his own ears - he’s not sure what she's going to say. He doesn’t think she’ll ask him to break off his relationship with James… he’ll leave if she does and he suspects she knows it. 

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to speed up your plans to move in with your fiancé. You’ll have a couple of weeks off once everything settles down, please use it wisely. I can’t have Q and R living under the same roof on a permanent basis. I trust your systems not to ever leak that kind of information but even so, see to it quickly. In the meantime you can stay where you like and of course occasional visits will be fine, just treat finding a house as a priority.”

He blinks. “You knew who I’d choose for R?”

“Yes, of course.” She puts down her papers and looks over at him, her facade drops just enough for him to catch a glimpse of the woman he knows James sees as a mother figure - even if he’ll never admit it. “Q, everyone will have to call you that from now on by the way, at least within MI6.” He smiles. “I thought you might like that. Anyway, Q, I don’t hire people I don’t trust and I know how to act and what to do when people break that. I’m sure 007 will have something to say about that when he returns, but what I’m trying to say is; you do this job for the same reason that I do it, that Bond does, and that means I can appoint you to your new position in full confidence. Just see to it that you keep a level head.”

He holds her gaze and nods, slowly, not enough to break eye contact. She knows and he knows how close it’s been on a couple of occasions. Everyone learns from their mistakes and he will always endeavour to try.

“You’re free to go.” He stands. “Congratulations, by the way, I know it’s been very busy and you haven’t had time to plan everything but he’s better, happier with you. Make sure to keep it that way.”

“Yes M. I was wondering, would you be able to attend the ceremony? Whenever it is that we manage to have it?”

M looks up at him and whatever sharp retort she was about to say dies on her tongue.

“You’re serious.”

“I am.”

“Does Bond know you’re planning on inviting me?”

“I’ve been sure to mention it at least twice.”

M smiles. “Bond knows my home address, send the invitation there.”

“Yes, of course. I’ll send R up as soon as I get back.”

*

“Ah, 007,” Q greets as James makes his way into Q’s new office.

He’s grinning like a cat, stalking though the room until he’s stood in front of him.

“Q.” He offers his hand and Q shakes it, enjoying the sound of his new title on James’ tongue, especially when he says it again against his lips, kissing him soundly in the   
process.

James drops into the chair next to him afterwards, fiddling with Simon’s new ID badge.

“I’m going to call you that all the time - unless we’re out in public - hmmm, it suits you.”

“How did your debriefing go?” He’s asking something else - something a lot more personal but he wants James to tell him in his own time and when he’s ready.

“Felix fell in love with an Italian Mafia bosses’ wife and is currently in the process of whisking her home, I met a lovely young Doctor by the name of Madeline Swann who’s now safely protected from her father… Mr White.”

Q looks at James and see’s the haunted look clouding his eyes. He spares his computer a glance and puts his hand on his arm.

“And…. I was painfully reunited with my step brother.”

“The dead one?” Q asks, realising instantly that it is a rather stupid thing to say. “Sorry…”

“No, no, it’s fine. It was a bit of a shock for both of us, apparently my arrival was premature, but I’ve never been one for elaborate master plans. It’s all a mess to be honest. Ronson and Moneypenny - the new field agent we met a month or so ago - had a run in with a Mr Silva that didn’t end well for him, Tanner now thinks the Home Secretary is involved in something he shouldn’t be, and M is overworked.” He closes his eyes and pinches his nose. 

“James,” he offers. “You can lie down if you need to, or head home - I can meet you there later.”

He shakes his head. “No, I don’t want to be anywhere else. I might test-drive your new sofa and the blanket you’ve so thoughtfully left for me.”

Q smiles. “That wasn’t for you. I didn’t know how long you’d be, so, when I put in the furniture order I added a few things. I didn’t want to go home without you.”  
James stands but guides Q up gently, folding him into the circle of his arms. Q can tell this close up that he’s been in the showers, probably before the briefing, but he still smells fresh and clean and he feels like home. 

“Did M tell you that I need to move?” he asks.

James chuckles warmly. “Yes, she might have mentioned that at the end, after sending everyone else out. I also need to pass on my congratulations to our new R.”

“You do. But you can rest - for now - I’ll only be a couple more hours at most. Everything else will have to wait until tomorrow… I would just like to get through as much of this as I can before hand. I’m certain I’ll be pulled into the full debriefing in the morning.”

“You will be, we both will. There’s one hell of a mess to clean up.”

Q smiles but asks the question he most needs the answer to. “Will you be part of that?”

James leans back enough to catch Q’s eyes and brings a hand up to gather in the back of his hair.

“Not out in the field, no. I’ve done the hard work, it’s now going to be up to everyone else - you much more so than me - to sort everything out. You will also be delighted to know, I’m sure, that I’ve been appointed your personal protection for a while. It gives us enough time to get everything sorted, find a house, move in, get married… M said she wanted to be sure you were safe in the meantime but she did seem oddly pleased.” Q must look guilty because James doesn’t miss a beat. “Q?”

“I even like it when you say it like that.”

“I mean it, Q, what did you do?”

“I offered her an invitation to the wedding.”

James sighs, but it’s a forced and put upon sound.

“It’s a small price to pay, I suppose. This means I can pass her off as a relative, she’ll love that.”

Q laughs but thinks that she genuinely might.

*

“Do you still run it?” James asks one night a few days later, when things are starting to settle down for Q, and MI6 now has a plan of action in place to deal with the fallout and scrambling criminal underworld.

“Yes. I update it whenever I can and make sure to quietly access any new feeds of information that might be relevant.”

James kisses his nose, then his mouth, lingering in between like he’s waiting to say something.

“If we ever find her, should we ever find her… and we might now, if she was hiding from Spectre, I want you to know that it doesn’t… it won’t… I won’t leave.”

Q moves shifts closer; bringing James into the circle of his arms, gathering the covers around them as he does.

“I know,” he says with certainty. “I know you won’t. I worry more about what she would do. It might come as a shock to her.”

“That I found you? I still think she’d like you.”

Q closes his eyes. They’ve both almost broached this subject before, have even touched on it a few times but it’s hard, so hard to talk in half whispered maybes.

The chances are - if she ever does come back - that she’ll resign herself to whatever life she’s now built if she finds out about them. It’s also likely that she’s found love again with someone else.

More likely though that they won’t ever find her, which just feels like such a shame given all the good that’s come out of their search.

Q has her picture - the one that James took in the morning sunlight - tucked next to the picture of James and him on his bedside table.

She is a constant reminder of why they have what they have.

Q wants to find her, wants to talk to her if only to thank her. He doesn’t hate or resent her, it’s been too long to still feel inadequate in the wake of her loss, and he worries about her from time to time.

“Q?”

“Are you going to call me that here too?” he asks. They are currently tucked up in his grandparents house whilst they’re away on holiday, R opted for a night shift to help oversee things at work so they’re alone with the cats.

“Yes. I got used to 007 by people using it all the time, I even used to call myself that, to remind me. I get the feeling that you like it a lot more than Simon.”

“I do,” he admits. “Is that strange?”

“No, I don’t think so. Not when it means as much as it does.”

“A few resigned, you know.”

“I know. You’re the youngest Quartermaster MI6 has ever had by eleven years and that unsettles some people, but I’m glad they left. MI6 can’t succeed with people who think like that. Age isn’t important so long as you’re good at your job.”

“Would you still think that if you didn’t know me?”

“Yes, Q, I would. You had me at '007'.” Q laughs and James nuzzles his hair. “M told me that you actually volunteered. For a while I thought you’d been assigned to me but you were so genuine with your offer to help that it confused me.”

“When did she tell you that?” He’s never mentioned this before.

“Some time after she noticed I was spending all of my free time with you.”

“Ah. She asked for someone to help in locating a missing person. Most people dismissed it but I wanted to help, I didn’t know it was for you until the day before we were supposed to meet.”

James’ hand on his waist tightens and Q rests his forehead against James’.

“This probably isn’t the time for it, but, when we get married - a date which is getting closer by the day - do you want to take my name? Or for me to take yours?”

“Simon Bond has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?” he asks, wondering if James can see his smile in the dark.

“You’re serious,” James says, Q can hear how happy he sounds about the prospect but he’s nervous too, worried Q’s joking.

“I am. You proposed first, after all. I know we have to keep things separate at work, not that it matters when all of my ID just says Q, but, unless you’re really, really insistent on taking my name, I’d like to take yours.”

“I’d be honoured.”

Q’s lips find James’ in the dark and they exchange lazy kisses until they both fall to sleep.

 

*

They find the house they want quickly and Q sorts out the relevant checks and surveys. When they view the house they also perform a full ground test. Once they're sure the house is sound and suitable they offer the asking price, complete, pay in full and move in. (James sold his family’s Skyfall estate in Scotland on the grounds that he's never there. He does makes provisions for Kincade - gives him his cottage and a glowing recommendation for the new owners.)

MI6 is still a mess around them, the fall out is too big to be kept out of the news completely but it's never attributed to them directly. Their press department are very good at damage control.

They plan the wedding with the same swift efficiency. There aren't too many people to invite and the security is as much provided by the guests as Q's computer skills. That it needs to both be on the record but out of public hands is without question. James Bond is still a potential target and his spouse - who ever they maybe - would be sought after.

The night before the wedding, Q finds James sat in the new kitchen at the window seat that looks out onto their back garden. He's been dealing with a lot these last few weeks, finding out his step brother was both still alive and a power-hungry mad-man has hurt him deeply. As did finding out that Silva - a former agent from M's days at Station H - was plotting to kill her and overthrow MI6. 

They are both now dead, though it cost several agents lives on both sides as well as several civilian casualties. 

Q knows James well enough to know that it's not that part that's bothering him and it's likely not their wedding either. So he settles at his side and joins him in running his fingers through Feynman's fur, she purrs louder, pleased with the extra attention.

"I keep expecting to see her," James admits at last. "I keep thinking that surely she will show up now or at least send word that she's safe." He shakes his head. "Sorry."

"You know you don't need to be and you know that's one of the reasons we kept your flat."

"I'm not even sure she ever knew my address."

Q smiles but it's a little sad. "She is resourceful enough to find it, she may even have it... But I don't know that she would think it safe enough to return to London, even if M has been willing to overlook her transgressions in the wake of the information she left us, that doesn't mean she'd be granted immunity."

When he looks up he finds James staring at him the way he sometimes does when Q has done something James considers particularly impressive.

"What is it?"

"In all this time, in all the years we've spent looking for her, you've never once doubted that she's alive."

"Of course I haven't." Why would he? No body means not dead. There are enough groups that would have revelled in sending her corpse to their doorstep either to lure James out or to prove a point. And he's never been able to shake the thought that she's alive, it's just always felt like she was. What he has doubted is ever finding her. He still doesn't ever expect to do so.

James nods and turns back to look out the window. He takes Q's hand, laces their fingers together and holds on tightly.

"Thank you, Q."

***

She doesn't show up at their wedding or in any of the months afterwards and life continues on for them and for MI6. 

James escorts the Queen at the Olympics and acts as personal protection detail. Q is unsure who enjoys it the most; James or the Queen. He isn't usually part of the team that runs field missions and he's never been the voice at the other end of the line before, but he's charged with being James' eyes and ears during the evening because he's one of the best at dealing with so much information all at once.

R - and half of Q Branch - join in happily, and in return they're all granted day tickets to the events of their choice. 

It's bizarre and slightly unreal but neither of them stop looking for her in the crowd, they just reach for the other when they catch them doing it to offer support and reassurance. 

*  
The alert finally goes off a few weeks later, it's a small and unremarkable notification but it draws his attention like nothing before.

He clicks on it and goes into the program, scanning over the information whilst reaching for his phone to text James. Once he's certain it's a lead - an actual lead - he asks him to join him for lunch.

When James comes in Q stands.

“I’ve found something,” he says, looking straight into his eyes and doing his best to hide the fear and uncertainty that suddenly crashes in on him from all sides.

James - who seems to be going through something similar - locks the door behind him and is at Q’s side in seconds.

He isn’t looking at the computer screen, he isn’t looking anywhere other than Q, eyes searching his and hands coming up to rest on his arms.

“I love you and I trust you and I’m not ever going to leave you. I married you because I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Q, whatever you’ve found won’t change that. I promise.”

It’s reassurance he wasn’t expecting to hear and he’s embarrassed that he needs it, but James, who’s dedication to those he loves knows no limit, understood without him needing to say anything.

“Come here, Q.” He allows James to fold him into his arms and tucks his own hands up under the back of his jacket to feel his warmth and pull him closer.

He makes the same solemn promise, speaking the words against his skin, and when they part, he’s still shaking with them.

James takes a seat and Q composes himself before joining him.

“It’s from a Japanese holiday bloggers most recent - and now most recently deleted - post.” He pulls up the copy he made of it. “I doubt they’ll notice one missing entry amongst the dozen or so they post every day. They were in Budapest in a cafe when they were helped by a french woman. She must know she’s safe now, she wouldn't let herself be photographed or even offer to help otherwise.”

James stares at the photo and reads the text underneath it - his Japanese isn’t what it used to be but it’s still more than good enough to read and understand the paragraph underneath.

“Have you managed to find anything else?”

“No, she’s not listed at any hotel - which isn’t surprising - and I can’t find her on any flights or locate anyone with her description. My best guess is that she traveled to Europe by train or by boat.” He takes James’ offered hand. “There’s also a very good chance that she did this on purpose, to test the water and see what happens.”

James nods. “So what do we do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not getting on a plane and trawling Budapest trying to find her.”

Q considers this carefully, like he would do any other problem he came across, taking both he and James out of the equation. It’s hard but not impossible and he’s had a lot of practice.

“We should go to M. Make it her decision.”

“And if we don’t like it?” James asks him, eyes darting between the picture on the screen and his husband. 

“Then we figure something else out.” 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for your lovely comments and kudos so far! Planning weekly updates where possible.


	4. Vesper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> VHS tape, a reunion and an introduction.

M grants them entry to her office straight away and accepts the file Q hands her with an odd sort of look on her face. Not quite like she was expecting them, but she doesn’t seem too surprised.

She goes through everything relevant that Q has gathered within a few minutes before turning her attention to them both.

“I’m surprised, Quartermaster, that you and 007 have come to me with this at all. Why haven’t you gone after her?” she asks. “I’m not sure what kind of blatant invitation you were waiting for but it seems you have it.”

“You know perfectly well why we’re here,” James tells her. “If we turn up with her in this country the chances are she’ll be arrested for treason the moment we land.”

“And what? you want to just let her walk in here and do as she pleases? She may not be a threat to us and her intel has proven more than valuable but you know it’s not enough. Even if I guarantee her safety, what’s to stop MI5 or anyone else going after her?”

“It’s not as if the Home Secretary or the Prime Minister are going to do anything to stop us, is it?” James says. “They’re in enough trouble as it is.”

M closes her eyes.

“What do you want?” she asks at last.

James looks to Q, the smallest nod of his head is all he needs for permission.

“It would be easy,” Q says, “to build a case for her, we have enough proof that shows she wasn’t acting against Queen and Country, that her actions were those of someone trying to protect one of our best agents. She returned the money the treasury initially put forwards and more besides and, the contacts she gave us have lead to our biggest and most recent successes. She’s not blameless and I’m not asking you - or anyone else - to trust her. Allow us to bring her in, if we can, and talk to her. If she’s finally surfaced after all this time then there must be a reason.”

“Do you trust her?” M asks him.

Q takes a breath. “I don’t know.”

“Alright. Yes. You can question her and arrange accommodation for her. No doubt that’s why you’ve kept hold of Bond’s flat. But you’re not brining her in. I’m sorry, 007, but I can’t risk it being a trap.”

“008 and Moneypenny?” James suggests.

M blinks at him, scowling. “I wasn’t asking for suggestions, 007, or are you applying for the new head of the Double-O program?”

James smirks. “I wasn’t aware there was an opening, M.”

M lets out a familiar long suffering sigh, it seems she saves them all up for whenever she’s faced with James and has an audience.

“That’s a matter probably best left for another day.”

“I was joking.”

“Well, I wasn’t. Look, 007, Q, things are still up in the air here and there are some changes planned. Changes I was hoping to stop before we had to discuss them.” She stands. “Now is not the time. I trust you can sort out all the needed paperwork and documentation?” M says to Q.

“It won’t be a problem.”

“Good. Ask Tanner to come in when you leave, I’ll need him to brief 008 and Agent Moneypenny. They’ll be in your office by the end of the day, Q. Outfit them and send them on their way.”

“Yes M’am.”

“Good. And please keep everything else I’ve said between yourselves. I’ll admit that I’d gotten so used to your husband’s blatant hacking of my account that I forgot your safeguards mean he can’t do that anymore.”

“I am stood right here,” James says, doing his very best to look and sound affronted. Q smiles.

“Go on now, the pair of you, we all have work to do.”

*  
Ronson and Moneypenny seem somewhat surprised to have this particular mission given to them but they don’t protest when Q hands them everything they’ll need.

Ronson leaves with James so that he can go over a few of the finer details, which leaves Moneypenny with Q.

“I think I’m starting to admire you. All this time you’ve been looking for Bond’s ex girlfriend, I had no idea.”

Q gives her a tight smile. “Well, it’s been worthwhile.”

“Oh, I’m not doubting that, I don’t think any of us could. Is this how you met then, looking for her?”

“You already know the answer to that, Agent Moneypenny and you have everything you need, unless you have any questions relating to the mission at hand?”

“I’m sorry, Q,” she tells him with genuine regret in her eyes. “I think what I meant to say was that I have a lot of respect for you for doing this, and begrudging, it would seem I now have to respect Bond as well.”

“Well that can be trying, even for me,” he says, willing to forgive her assumptions. “You know how to contact us should you need to and how to notify us when you get back. We will meet you at the secured rendezvous point two hours after you give us notice.”

Moneypenny nods and takes a step closer to the door.

“Do we really just let her go if she doesn’t want to come back with us?”

Q smiles sadly. “Yes. The most important thing is to make sure that she’s safe and well, neither myself or James want to drag her back against her will. It can’t have been easy for her these past few years, as far as we can tell she’s been alone.”

“And Bond hasn’t.”

“Precisely. Good luck out there in the field, we will see you when you return.”

*  
M finds them in Q Branch the following afternoon.

Q - who’s only ever in his office when he needs to work undisturbed - only heads in there after lunch to grab his scrabble mug from his desk.

“Sit down, Q. Bond is on his way.”

He feels his heart sink to his stomach, his last report on the mission was that they had located and made contact with Vesper. James is down there now, waiting for Q to rejoin him. But M’s presence suggests a new development has happened in the five minutes it’s taken him to get here.

He does as he’s told, taking his seat with his hands folded on top of his laptop.

James dashes in a few moments later, clearly having ran the length of the corridor and up the staircase.

“Lock the door, 007 and take a seat.” He goes to speak but she silences him with one look. “I know how things are going in Budapest, this isn’t about that, not directly.”

James sits at Q’s side, putting his hand over his and moving his chair close enough that they’re pressed together from shoulder to knee.

Q is grateful for his reassurance but glad to be between M and James.

“I was hoping I wouldn’t have to show this to you, that I could spare you ever having to sit through it.” She places an old VHS cassette tape on his desk. “Leiter found it in Morocco. I know he didn’t tell you, he might have given it to you himself if he knew that you were still looking for her.” M sighs. “I think it’s a good idea for you both to watch it. I’ll return in a couple of hours. With your permission, Quartermaster, I’ll join R and Tanner downstairs.” She stands and leaves a secure usb stick next to the tape. “The password is my name.”

He nods and she goes, closing the door softly behind her.

James moves his hands and Q sets it all up, disconnecting his computer from any and all networks and uses the separate, secure OS he’d installed for these purposes.

“I don’t know why but I keep forgetting you know her name,” James says when Q enters the password.

Q squeezes his knee under the table and loads up the video.

“Ready?” he asks.

James looks down at their hands and rubs his finger over Q’s wedding-and-engagement ring. They’re both wearing them today - they always do when James is at home.

When it’s over he wants to throw up, scream and collapse all at the same time. His ears are ringing and the only thing he registers with any clarity is James’ fingers locked tightly with his.

They tortured her, and although he’s immensely relieved it wasn’t sexual; it doesn’t make it any less horrifying.

_Interrogation_ is not the word he would use, though it would seem Mr. White thought it an appropriate description when he wrote it on the tape label.

James’ voice crackles through the ringing in his ears and slowly, slowly, Q feels himself come back down to earth. “There was a moment, when I found him, that I regretted putting a bullet through his skull,” James tells him, cold fury burning beneath the surface. “Only a moment and never again. I can only hope that his daughter never learns just how much of a monster her father was.”

Q still can’t move, can’t shake out of it. He isn’t trained like James and he doesn’t normally have to see what he sees. He hacks networks, finds information and builds weapons.

He’s not blind to what his work goes on to bring about, but the detachment helps him to do his job to the high standards expected of him.

He doesn’t know how James can sleep at night, having seen that… having had something similar done to him on more than one occasion.

“Q?” He hears faintly, distantly. “Simon?”

His _real_ name shatters the hold that silence had placed on him and he jumps when James leans in to remove his glasses with the hand not locked with his. He lets him, nearly jumping again when he hears them gently put on the table but he’s quick to lean into James, to lay his head on his shoulder and cry.

He knows, after a moment that James is crying as well, he can feel the tears soak through his jumper and his shirt. It’s raw and angry. This is not the first time James has broken down, it’s not even the first time since Q has had this office, but it’s never felt like this before.

Q brings them down to the floor and ignores the part of his mind pointing out how unprofessional and ridiculous this is. M knew what she was doing when she left them with the video and her words, her warning now makes sense in a different context than he was expecting.

For a horrible moment he wondered if maybe Vesper had betrayed them, had been on the other side the whole time… hadn’t been the woman coerced and threatened that they’d believed her to be.

It’s very little comfort that Vesper is exactly what they thought she was; an innocent victim tortured and manipulated and trying her best for the two people she loved. Even though one of them had betrayed her in the worst way possible and, in leaving, she had torn the other apart.

*  
When M comes back in they’re composed, both with steaming mugs of tea in front of them and the laptop wiped of the file and shut down. Q would destroy the video and the usb stick if he could but that needs to be up to M, not him. He’s level headed enough to know he’s too emotionally invested and well trained enough to have recovered after their small half an hour breakdown. The rest will come later, he’s just not sure when.

She has the good grace to lock the door behind her and take the seat across from them.

“I am sorry that you had to see that, it might be of some comfort to know I’m the only other person that has. Vesper Lynd can return as a full British citizen without fear of imprisonment or incrimination from the British Government or anyone within the secret service. I will have them killed if they try. I have one condition and after that I’ll leave it alone.”

“Go on,” James says.

“You both need to be sure you can trust her. If not she can leave the country and we won’t follow. She’s been resourceful enough to set herself up on the continent and she’s welcome to go back.”

“And you would do that?” Q asks. “For her?”

M looks between the two of them. “Yes, I would. It’s not exactly selfless and I’m certainly not doing this out of the goodness of my heart but I’m not heartless either.” M shakes her head. “Right now I’m not sure whether or not she deserves your kindness but you have my full authority to try. Head back to R as soon as you can. If she does see fit to come back with Moneypenny and 008 then you’re both assigned solely to her for at least the next few weeks. R can liaise with you as and when she needs to. Good luck, both of you.”

“Thank you, M,” James says, standing when she does.

She gives him a small but warm smile.

“I still want to talk with you about the position once this is sorted, do you understand?”

James nods and shows her out.

***

Moneypenny is the one waiting on the other side of the door when James opens it.

“Are you sure, 007?” she asks, eyeing James - and Q behind him - carefully.

“You brought her back.”

She nods in agreement. “Everything she’s said and shown us has been fine so far and she’s clearly been through a lot, but that’s not what I mean. There are safe houses we can take her to.” She drops her eyes to the floor just long enough - James thinks - to compose herself before locking her gaze with his. “This is a lot, James. Are you sure?”

It works in her favour, he thinks, her consideration for him and Q, but he’ll find a way to thank her later.

“We’re sure, Eve. Whatever happens, you don’t need to worry about us.” He knows from the look on her face that she can see Q agreeing behind him.

“Okay, I’ll bring her in.”

“Thank you,” James tells her.

“You’re welcome, both of you. You know where I am if you need anything.” He does, she and 008 will be stationed next door just incase. James wasn’t sure what to think of that when it was first suggested but it means that Vesper will have somewhere to go if she doesn’t want to stay with them.

*  
Q has only seen her in photographs and that one horrible video they watched yesterday. In life she is as beautiful as any picture, more vibrant than film can capture. She isn’t frail and nor is she overconfident, but it’s easy to see that she’s wary.

This can’t be easy for her, walking into a flat in a country she never expected to see again. She seems not to know what to do with James but he steps aside to let her in.

Q can see him shaking, can tell how much he wants to go to her, to reaffirm that she’s real and not an illusion.

It’s Q she walks towards, though, stopping only once she’s in front of him as James brings in her bag and locks the door behind him.

She offers him her hand. “Vesper Lynd.”

Q hesitates for only a second. “Simon Bond.” He can feel James’ eyes on him but he doesn’t waver or move his attention from Vesper.

In this light he can’t tell if her eyes are blue or green or grey but he’s drawn to them, drawn to her and he will let her look for as long as she likes. He has nothing to hide from her and no matter what she makes of it, he knows he will offer as much of himself as she can accept.

She reaches her hand down to take hold of his and shakes it firmly.

“Eve told me that I’d be surprised by what I would find here, she also said that in five years you haven’t ever stopped looking. I didn’t understand at the time why that was so important, I think I do now.”

She lets go of his hand and turns to James.

“I read your letter, and Eve was good enough to tell me about my… blackmailers. James…”

“I can leave you both to it,” Q offers. But both James and Vesper decline at the same time and Vesper turns back to him.

“I want to sleep, I want to try and understand why I’m here. We can talk in the morning. I don’t want _you_ to go anywhere,” she tells Q with a small, sad smile. “I am surprised that you want me here at all.”

Q doesn’t know how to tell her so he smiles kindly instead. “I’ll show you to your room, the ensuite is in the master bedroom but the bathroom across the hall is entirely for your use.” He stops with her at her door. “Please ask us - or Eve and 008 - if you need anything our room is at the end of the hallway.”

*  
“You know very well that the chances of either of us getting any sleep is slim to none,” Q protests, getting into his pyjamas and sliding under the covers anyway.

“I know that. I’d also rather be comfortable than pace around the flat.”

Q sighs and rolls over so he’s pressed up against James’ side.

“Maybe we should have brought the cats?” Q’s suggestion brings a smile to James’ lips and he presses it into his hair.

“They’re happy where they are.” He closes his eyes and gathers his husband closer to him so that he’s half lying ontop of him. “Are you sure about this, Q?”

“Yes.”

“Okay then.”

They settle together and listen to the sounds of Vesper making her way to and from the bathroom, to the old floorboards creaking with the changes in temperature, the faint sounds from the street outside.

Eventually, James thinks Q might have drifted off to sleep and his grip tightens. He knows Q is open to this, to whatever might happen but he wonders if his husband understands the depths James will go to protect him. He may still love Vesper, he does, but he will still prioritise Q over her and she knows it.

*  
The bed is comfortable and the mattress is new with fresh, clean and soft cotton sheets. Everything here is clean and tidy without being sterile. It’s welcoming, if Vesper were to name how it felt to walk in here.

They don’t know where she’s been, they haven’t pressed her at all and it would seem that Eve has kept her promise of letting her tell them in her own time.  
None of this stops her from gathering herself up into the smallest, tightest ball she can, pulling the covers up and around her and cocooning herself within them.

She doesn’t know what to do with herself. Safety is a relatively new concept to her, even though it seems she was entirely successful in keeping herself hidden from the world all this time.

One tiny test to see if anyone was looking for her later and she’s back in London.

It wasn’t as if she had a back up plan or an escape route if anyone other than MI6 had come to find her but the years had worn heavy on her and she was tired, so very tired.

She still is, but not in anyway that sleep will really fix.

James’ letter weighs on her mind, though less to than it had when she’d first read it. It was long, instead of the short and to the point style she remembered, and for a moment she’d thought it was payback for the letter she’d left for him.

He’d told her that he was married, and separately, that someone he trusted had been helping him to look for her, that they hadn’t stopped, even after the wedding.  
His wording now seems deliberately careful, and rightly so, she has no right to expect him to trust her. His husband, on the other hand, is another matter entirely.

Eve had told her - on the way to the flat - that James was inside with the person who’d designed the program they’d eventually used to find her. She hadn’t expected him to be the same person James had married.

But he hand’t seemed afraid of her, and not, she thinks, because he now has a claim on the man she loves. He seemed… happy, almost relieved, to see her.

He is beautiful and captivating and at any other time, in any other place, she knows herself well enough to know she’d pursue him if she were free to do so. But she hasn’t been free for a very long time. Her love for James burning almost as brightly as the knowledge that she had left him forever so that he would be safe from Quantum and from the other, larger organisation she had very accidentally stumbled across.

Now she’s here, they’re gone and she’s as safe as she could possibly be and though she knows she could leave, Vesper knows herself well enough to know that she won’t do that until she can understand why she’s really here.

*  
“Good morning,” Q greets as Vesper makes her way into the kitchen. She’s dressed warmly - wise given the temperature of the flat first thing in the morning - and the green wool of her jumper makes her eyes shine in the bright light of the room. “James will be in in a moment, do you want anything to eat?” he offers as casual as possible.

Vesper takes a seat at the breakfast bar. “Toast would be fine, thank you.”

He nods and gets to work, offering her tea and coffee and berating himself for how delighted he is when she accepts the earl grey already in the pot.

Breakfast is… tense… to use the right word. They all eat but they rarely speak. James keeps looking at Vesper over the top of his mug and insists on keeping contact with Q below the table at all times.

When he’s finished, Q stands.

“I’ll grab my laptop and head next door for a while.” Neither of them seem happy about the prospect of being left alone. “You need to talk, both of you. Regardless of what you said last night, I think it will be easier if you have some time to yourselves.”

“You don’t have to leave the flat, you’ll be as likely to hear us from the bedroom as you will next door,” James says but Q doesn’t waver.

“True, but there’s company next door and I’ll be able to check in with work.”

“One hour?” James asks as Q walks past him on the way out, laptop bag over his shoulder.

Q nods and laces their fingers together for a moment.

He doesn’t miss the way Vesper’s eyes follow him as he leaves the flat, and he’s happier beyond words when he finds R with Eve and 008 next door. She stands and hugs him tightly, rubbing his back firmly the moment he gets in the door.

“We thought you might need some moral support,” Eve says gently but he can only nod and burry his head back in his sister’s shoulder.

*  
“There isn’t much for me to tell you and I’m certain that whatever I say you’ll relay to your husband so I’d rather wait for him to come back before I do.”  
James nods. “That’s fair.”

Vesper shakes her head and looks away.

“What kind of person invites their former lover back when they’re married? What do you want, James?”

“That depends.”

“Oh? On what? You love him and it’s certainly clear how much he loves you. Did you…”

“You knew I was married already and you still decided to come back. If it was for closure then tell me what you need to get it.”

“Eve told me that your search for me has inadvertently done a lot of good,” she says, clearly no longer comfortable with that line of conversation.

“It has, but you knew that already as well; you wouldn’t have exposed yourself to that tourist otherwise.” He sighs and puts down his tea. “And you have all the thanks you could possibly want from the government, so you didn’t come here for that.”

She stands and walks from the table to the window, runs her hands along the window sill then leans on the frame.

He wants to go to her, he's been fighting against it since last night.

“I wanted to see the person who you’d loved enough to marry, I wanted to know who’d replaced me.”

“Vesper -”

She shakes her head and wraps her arms around herself.

“It wasn’t really much comfort but it was something, knowing my actions had kept you alive. I found out about Yusef when it appeared in the news, which I wasn’t expecting and I’m guessing I can thank your husband for?” James nods, knowing she can see his reflection. “I can’t tell you how many times since then that I wished I’d told you the truth, wished I’d stayed instead of running.”

James walks towards her but keeps the distance between them, choosing to sit on the couch nearby instead. He can see the regret in her eyes reflected in the glass but can’t find anything to say to soothe it.

“You’re not the only one,” he admits instead, she might as well know. “But we can’t change the past, Vesper, we don’t have that kind of power.”

She doesn’t respond and silence falls between them, hurt resonates and burns his throat but he doesn’t let it stop him from continuing.

“M was worried that I would tare the world apart looking for you so she put us together. I didn’t find out until later that he’d volunteered not knowing who he was helping or why, but he was so genuine and so, so intelligent. I wasn’t expecting it.”

“How long?” she asks in a cracked whisper.

“A year after you disappeared.”  
Vesper shakes her head. “How long before you fell in love with him?”

“Another year or so after that. I almost didn’t realise it was happening.” He closes his eyes at the memory of Q (Simon, odd that he's so used to using his title and not his name) curled up on the couch of his grandparents house. Heartbroken because he couldn’t take James' pain away, because he had fallen in love with him and didn’t know what to do.

He opens them again when he hears Vesper shift and looks up to see her resting against the wall and watching him.

“We took thinks slowly, very slowly, and it was hard. Sometimes it was very hard, but we love each other and we talk to each other, so it’s easier now.”

“Is it worth putting yourself through this? For a promise you made yourself years ago?”

James wonders if she knows what she’s really asking, if he or Q even understand it.

“Yes.”

She sighs out and drops into the arm chair closest to her.

“Bring him back in and I’ll tell you what you want to know.”

*  
Vesper tells them with a kind of detached calmness that only comes from someone who’s separated themselves off from what’s happened to them. She seems to assume that they both know the details of her earlier arrangement - though she can’t know they’ve actually seen it - and gives her account of the past six or so years.

Eve had told Q before he came back in that they’ve cross-referenced and verified her story with R and M already.

Q can’t imagine living for so long with such fear and terror hanging over her. Even when it lessened, even when she started to realise she might finally be free, it can’t have been easy.

He’s proud of himself for not crying, for not reaching for James’ hand, because he doesn’t want it to be her on one side and them on the other, even if it currently is.  
James offers to make them lunch when she’s done, standing and squeezing Q’s shoulder as he goes. It’s no surprise to either of them when he disappears into the master bedroom, then the en suite. Both doors close loud enough to echo through the flat.

“Aren’t you going to go after him?”

Q shakes his head. “He would have asked if he wanted company. Would you like any more tea?” he asks, heading over to the kitchen.

“Please,” she says. “Though, really, I want to know more about you.”

Q can’t help himself, he smiles at her warmly. “I’m told that’s rather a broad topic of conversation.”

Vesper follows him over to the kitchen and watches as he makes their tea.

“James told me that you once recited most of his life story just from one look. You’re welcome to do the same with me.”

Her smile cracks. “I’m not always that accurate.”

“No one ever is,” Q soothes, turning to set the timer for the tea. He’s chosen James’ favourite Lapsang souchong for him but made a fresh pot of earl grey for himself and Vesper.

“I know you’re younger than him, younger than me,” she says after a moment. “But you’re older than you look so I’d say you must be around 30.”

“Give or take a few months, yes.”

He’s rewarded with a small and genuine smile. “You’re very good at your job, I’d guess top of your field, at least within MI6 - and your salary matches it. Your wardrobe alone is enough indication and you strike me as too self sufficient to let James spoil you. Though I’m sure that he does anyway, I don’t think he has much say in what you wear.”

“Also true, on all counts. I do let him buy me the odd tie from time to time but he steers clear otherwise.”

“You’re also a contradiction.”

“How so?” he asks, pouring them both a cup of tea and adding milk to his liking before letting her do the same.

“I would say - given your job - that you’re very careful with who and what you trust. You’re also fiercely protective of them.”

Q smiles. “Also correct.”

“But you married a man who’s former lover you were searching for, knowing he still loved her, and then let her into your home.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t say that that’s a contradiction at all. I only trust a very small number of people but I trust them absolutely. And this is only technically our flat.”

“Technically?”

“James lived here before we were married and we kept it just incase.”

“Why?”

He smiles warmly at her. “It’s too small for the cats.”

She laughs and shakes her head, sipping her tea as she settles back down. “You didn’t live together before you were married?”

“Not officially and not always in the same place, but close enough.”

“So you lived with friends, or family, somewhere big enough for your cats.”

“Very good, yes.”

Vesper leans forwards and eyes him carefully. “But not your parents?”

Q blinks. “No.” He wonders, a moment later, if he spoke too harshly. “Sorry.”

“No, no it’s fine. I have a tendency to overstep.”

He trusts her - he realises - enough to explain further. “I lived with my grandparents and my sister.”

“Sister?”

“Adopted.”

“You or her?” She’s resting on the table now, head leaning on her hand as she watches him.

“A bit of both if I’m honest. James says my grandparents are the kindest and most liberal people he’s ever met.” He smiles to himself. “They are but I think they just can’t bare to see people hurting if they can help them, especially if they’re attached to people they already love.”

“You were lucky,” she says quietly. “I don’t think myself or James could really say the same.”

He nods his agreement and drinks his tea.

“I think,” he says, “That you’re better at that than you think you are.”

“Does this mean you’ll let me know what your job really is? It hasn’t escaped my notice that no one mentioned your name before I got here and I’m beginning to think that it’s not really because you’re James’ husband.”

“Ah.” He sighs. He does trust her enough to do so but it’s not up to him.

“He can’t tell you without M’s permission,” James says, walking down the hallway and back into the kitchen.

It’s true enough that he doesn’t argue and he’s surprised to see James back so soon.

“You’re not a field agent, I know that much. They give their identity and their titles out to anyone who’ll listen,” she tells him and Q laughs, turning to glare at James as he picks up his tea.

“Yes, undercover doesn’t seem to be an agreeable concept to some people.”

James shrugs. “My reputation tends to speak for its self. You’d be surprised how cooperative people are when they realise who I am.”

There’s tension in his shoulders and his back when he sits on the stool next to Q’s, but he’s trying very hard not to show it.

One look at Vesper and Q knows she can see it as clearly as he can but neither of them comment.

*  
Vesper finds the photo albums they’d deliberately brought to the flat later that night and then, a little while after, Q finds her. He had wanted to wake James but he knows that he needs his sleep and that Q doesn't need his permission, or more accurately, he already has it.

Q is carrying a blanket with him but leaves it over the back of the couch when he notices that Vesper has already thought to bring the spare one from her room.

“When you told me that you no longer lived here I thought it was strange for you to have left these on your bookshelf. I wanted to see how much of this place was set dressing and how much of it was for my benefit,” she tells him when he sits down at the other end of the couch.

“There was enough overlap in our book collections to leave some of them here. It is a safe house as well as a flat.” He glances at the albums, noting that she has them both open in front of her. “We didn’t bring them solely for your benefit, though it was a consideration.”

Vesper seems to accept this and pulls the one entitled _‘James & Simon 2009’_ \- which contains the photographs from their first holiday together. It was only after James had shown Simon the one of he and Vesper - currently open on the coffee table - that they’d put it together. There are several others at home but they all contain photos of their friends and family, and that, at least for now, is out of bounds.

“I am rather terrified of flying,” Q says when it seems she’s staring at the pictures without actually seeing them. “And James had been there before and thought I’d like it, so we went.”

“It looks lovely.” But, despite her words, Q can feel the hurt as though it’s radiating off her as he watches, her fingers shake as she turns the page.

“Vesper,” he say quietly, willing her to look at him.

“I still don’t understand.”

Q edges himself closer and brings his knees up to his chest, wrapping his hands around them to keep him from reaching for her.

“You’ve never been a secret. I knew James was still in love with you the very first time we met, that he was looking for you because of and not in spite of it.”

“I broke his heart.”

Q nods. “Yes, you did, but you broke yours at the same time. Vesper, we saw what they did to you.”

Her eyes snap to his and he meets her head on.

“How?”

“Mr. White kept trophies.” He swallows. “James put a bullet through his head, if it helps?”

She nods mutely, suddenly looking much older than her 37 years. He wonders how many of the world’s horrors she and James have seen between them, wonders if he can be enough light for them both… if she will even let him try.

“He doesn’t trust me,” she says at last and Q can’t quite deny it.

“I do,” he says instead.

“Simon…”

“Q,” he corrects with a small smile.

Vesper knows exactly what that means and he suspects, as she offers him a watery smile, that she had worked it out for herself already.

When her tears start again Q lets go of his legs and opens his arms to her.

“Why?” she asks, wiping tears from her face with the blanket.

“Because I think you might be the only other person, aside from James, to understand how it feels to be in love with two people at the same time.”

She chokes on a sob but reaches for his hand, gripping so tightly it hurts.

“I don’t expect anything from you, Vesper, but I do want you to know.”

She’s nodding then moving forwards until she’s cradled within his arms, only letting go of his hand once he lets her know he wants to hold her. She tucks her hands up underneath his shoulders and holds him close to her, crying silently into his shirt.

He holds her and soothes her, pressing kisses into her soft, dark hair for a long time.

They hear the door to the master bedroom open but aside from tensing Vesper doesn’t move from his arms.

Wordlessly, James joins them on the couch and puts his arms around them both. Q can feel him take hold of Vesper’s hand against his back, feels him press his nose into his hair and breathe deeply.

When they settle, when James’ hold loosens a little and when Vesper lifts her head enough to look first Q and then James in the eyes, Q feels something within him relax.

James doesn’t offer any lighthearted remarks, he just strokes Q’s hair and then Vesper’s, rubbing his thumb under her eyes.

Gently, slowly, he leans in and kisses her on the forehead.

“Let me try, let us try but know that you don’t owe us anything. Your life is your own, Vesper Lynd.”

“And you would really accept me, even after everything?”

“Yes.” He looks between them both but this time he does smile. “This couch hasn’t gotten any comfier since we moved and, if you’ll accept it, we have a bed big enough to easily accommodate three people.”

Q yawns against Vespers shoulder. “It’s up to you,” he says quietly.

“Only if James thinks he can carry both of us, I don’t think I could stand if I tried and I’m sure I’ve already put your legs to sleep.”

“I’ll manage,” he tells her.

They get to their feet - Vesper every bit as shaky as she claimed and Q not doing much better. He drops back down and waves them on; James can come back for him once Vesper is settled.

He closes both albums whilst he waits for James, and smiles up at him when he comes back.

“I love you,” James tells him, holding him close once he’s got him standing again.

“Love you too,” he mumbles, half sleep, against James’ neck.

He does carry him, laying him down next to Vesper who’s on Q’s side of the bed. James comes in behind him a moment later and Q barely registers them both snuggling into him before he’s asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My aim for a chapter to be posted once every week or so is still sort of happening... I will try to be more prompt! As always comments etc are so very much appreicated! Gives me the motivation to keep going!


	5. Feynmann and Tesla

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's never quite so simple but it's not impossible.

Vesper sleeps fitfully - there isn’t any other word for it. Q shifts in James’s arms to hold her against his chest. He runs his fingers through her hair and hums softly to try and settle her, the way he sometimes has with James when his husband’s nightmares skate too close to the surface.

It seems to help, she does calm and settle back to sleep for long enough for him to fall under.

When, several hours later, she starts to shake, he wakes and so does James.

“Shhh, Vesper, it’s okay,” James says, voice muffled by sleep and Q’s hair. He reaches his arm over his husband and places it carefully - gently - on her shoulder.  
He touches her as if she’s made of glass and might shatter. 

At the realisation Q closes his eyes and breathes deeply. He can feel James’ pain so clearly that it’s almost overwhelming. But James’ touch does help and she settles faster.

“I love you,” James whispers with his mouth is on Q’s ear, but he wonders - and hopes - that he isn’t just saying it to him.

***  
Vesper is aware of voices - two voices - talking as she wakes. There’s an arm around her back and a warmth at her front that makes her feel safe. She keeps quiet until she knows where she is, and then she stays quiet to make sure it’s real.

“I’ll go and make tea,” the deeper voice says.

“James…”

“It might be easier if you’re here alone when she wakes up.”

There’s silence - or at least a silent conversation - then she hears James leave the room.

Q turns back to her and blocks out the morning light when he gathers her close again.

She is still uncertain, still worried and afraid that last night doesn’t mean what she thinks it means. That they’re just doing this to find out what she knows. She really has told them everything, there isn’t anything else. 

Vesper isn’t cruel enough to describe her constant fear and the oppressive anxiety that almost drowned her several times. James has been hurting so much and so deeply that she daren't share her pain any further with him, and Q seems to have suffered along with them.

She opens her eyes and peers up at Q, watching the moment he realises she’s awake. It’s like his hazel eyes come alive when she smiles at him - whatever worry that had been clouding them is temporarily banished.

“Good morning,” he says warmly.

“Hmm, good morning.” She snuggles a bit closer and Q chuckles against her hair.

He rolls onto his back and she tucks herself into his side, head on his chest and arm across his waist. 

“So, I suppose I should ask when I can call you Simon and when I should call you Q.”

Q’s laughter shakes his chest but it’s so warm and honest that she doesn’t mind at all.

“Only James and R - who you’ll meet sometime within the next few days - know my real name, aside from M, of course.”

“Of course.”

“I would rather no one else find out. Equally, I’m Simon whenever I’m outside of work - to make sure everything is as separate as possible.”

Vesper doesn’t voice her next thought because she doesn’t really think it’s her place but it’s almost as though Q hears her.

“My name, that is,” he adds lightly.

She smiles against his chest. “Hm.” She looks at the door, ears straining for the faint noises of tea and breakfast being made in the kitchen. “How long does it normally take James to make tea?”

Q strokes his fingers through her hair and sighs.

“That depends on whether or not he’s stalling or simply making coffee for himself as well,” Q tells her. He sounds worried but there isn’t anything she can think of to say that would help.

She could offer to leave them be and return to her own room but she feels safer and more content in his arms in this flat than she has in such a long time. Selfishly, she wants to stay and wants James to join them.

Them. 

“Q?”

“Hm?”

“Last night.” He tenses so Vesper pushes herself up to lean on her elbow and look at him. “Last night you said….” There is no good way to say it.

“I offered you something that you don’t have to accept if you don’t want it. And if you do; there’s no rush.”

She smiles, noting the flush that rises to his cheeks and the shyness creeping in around the edges of his honesty. He is beautiful and radiant and Vesper wants to kiss him, feels her heart flutter in her chest with it. But she doesn’t. It feels… not wrong… and not unwelcome… but without James it would feel…. she can’t quite put her finger on it.

So she settles back down, pulls the covers around them and snuggles closer to Q.

“I want it,” she says at last.

***

James finds it hard to take in the image of his husband and the woman who had broken his heart snuggled up together in bed.

He is still reeling from her loss, from the fact that she left him and, can’t quite understand why Q has chosen to trust her so readily.

Q has always, always been a very good judge of character. James could tell the moment Vesper walked in the room that they were drawn to each other, that Q felt something more for her than simple concern. More than the affection he’s quietly expressed to James.

He’s beginning to think that Q doesn’t just love Vesper for James’ sake. It warms his heart and terrifies him all at the same time because if she leaves again then it won’t just be his heart on the line.

Q’s smile is unguarded and welcoming when James makes his way in with their breakfast piled up on the tray. He sits himself up and Vesper goes along with him, eyeing James carefully when he comes closer.

He slides the tray onto his bedside table and pulls back the covers, leaning over to kiss Q and then Vesper on the head. He lingers, pressing his nose into her hair and breathing her in.

He feel’s Q’s hand rest on his back, gently guiding him down to them and welcoming him into his embrace.

For several minutes he just holds them, as he had that morning before Q had woken up. Vesper feels warm and solid under his hand, her hair soft and smooth, and Q’s heart beats steadily below James’ ear.

When Q presses a kiss to his hair he sits back up and turns to pass everyone their mugs. He hopes Vesper still likes her tea the way she used to; Q has been making tea for her since she arrived and he hasn’t been paying attention.

They share a large plate of toast and jam and though the silence is more comfortable and settled, none of them try to start a conversation.

When Q decides to get out of bed to take a shower Vesper heads to her own bathroom to do the same.

James is then left to his own thoughts again until the silence is too much. 

He’s at the door to the ensuite before he’s aware of getting out of bed. 

It’s not locked but he knocks anyway.

Q’s already in the shower but he slides the door open to let James join him, taking his hand and squeezing his fingers. James sits on the ledge and lets Q get on with it, wanting his presence without needing to interrupt him.

James lets Q wash his hair, helps him scrub down the rest of him and stands to let Q get his back and rinse him off. 

Q waits until they’re wrapped in towels to draw him into his arms. James is shaking and his breathing is unsteady against Q’s skin.

“I want her here so much but I don’t know how to do this,” he admits.

“I don’t think there are many people who’ve ever been in this kind of situation. A relationship between two people is hard enough, this is going to be even harder,” Q says and kisses his shoulder. "And you're not alone, on either side."

James holds Q tighter until the shaking stops, until he's drawn enough strenght to carry on.

***

The next few days seem to follow the same sort of pattern. They eat together, Q and Vesper get to know each other, and when they are all together, James is always next to Q.

He will talk to her, acknowledge her and smile at her in the soft way she thought she’d never see again but he’s keeping a careful distance.

Vesper studies him in turn, when he cooks, when he and Q are together in another part of the open-plan living space or, on one occasion, when he’s sleeping.

Vesper remembers him telling her that she had stripped his armour from him. She thinks that now he’s chosen to drop the armour he’s rebuilt but he’s waiting for her to attack again.

Waiting for her to land another near fatal blow.

She can’t find the words to tell him that it’s the very last thing she wants to do. That the very thought breaks her heart all over again.

The more time she spends with them, the more she wants to stay, wants to find out more about Q… and she can’t deny how much she wants to be closer. She’s seen the way he kisses James and wants to feel his lips against hers, would gladly take whatever he’ll offer her and give him her love in return.

But she’s not sure she can do that with things as uncertain as they are with James.

Even at night - Q and James still welcome her into their bed - she sleeps next to Q.

“Vesper?” Q says softly, coming to sit at her side on the sofa. “James has gone next door to call M.”

She nods and crawls into his lap, resting her head his chest and breathing him in.

Q chuckles fondly and puts his arms around her, nosing her hair and rubbing his hand along her arm.

“We could go for a walk, if you want to? It’s not too cold outside and we’re close to a few parks.”

“How long will James be?” she asks, unsure if Q means just the two of them or all three of them.

“At least an hour. As long as we tell him we can go on our own - if it will make you more comfortable - though Eve will probably stay nearby.”

“I don’t know how to reach him,” she whispers, tired of keeping it to herself, tired of a distance she doesn’t know how to close.

“I think you need to talk, both of you. Properly.” When she doesn’t say anything or move Q continues. “It hurts but it helps, I promise.”

“Can you be there?”

“Vesper?” His tone has her moving her head to look at him. “It won’t help if I’m there. You know it won’t.” His smile is melancholy. “I’ll be here afterwards.”

She nods and reaches up before she can stop herself, sliding her hand around his neck and reaching up enough to kiss him. She leaves an inch between them, suddenly not sure if this is a good idea.

Q just smiles and closes the final distance. 

His lips are soft and warm against her’s, lining up just right. Sparks fly over her skin as warmth blooms in her chest. Q pulls her up into his lap so that they’re face to face. His smile is wide when he stops to breathe, cupping her face with both hands as he kisses her again a moment later.

He lines their mouths up just ride, slides his lips over her’s and parts them gently. Vesper closes her eyes and lets him lead. She’s warm all over and brimming with affection and when they part for a second time she rests her forehead against his and gathers her hands in his hair.

“I wasn’t sure if it was okay to do that,” she says.

Q makes a pleased and happy sound - almost like a hum.

“I’ve wanted to do that since the first morning we woke up together.”

“Really?”

“Vesper.” He kisses her again. “How could I not want to?” There is such a bright and warm honesty in his eyes. She’s seen flickers of it directed at James since she arrived but this is the first time Vesper’s really seen it directed at her and really knows what it feels like. 

She doesn’t feel worthy of so much love and affection, even if she can admit to herself that she’s already in love with him. 

Vesper has always fallen quickly and hard, dedicated and absolute in her love. 

In that sense she is responsible for hurting the man who gave up everything for her… but it also means she can fix this.

“Let’s go for a walk,” Vesper says at last. “James can meet us there and you can come back with Eve.”

*

“Are you more or less nervous than when you proposed to Simon?” R asks as they head towards Q and Vesper. 

“More,” James says quietly. R is - in all senses of the word - becoming more like a sister to him the more time passes.

She bites her lip and looks to the side. “Is it fixable?” R asks at last.

He laughs more in shock than anything else and fights past the anxiety clouding his mind to answer her. 

“I think so. I need them and I think they might already need each other.”

R nods. “Good.”

She leaves with Q, who does little more than squeeze James’ hand and kiss his cheek. 

Eve nods to James on his way past but keeps her distance. They aren’t in any danger but it’s still good to know she’s there, that Vesper has somewhere to go if this is too much for her.

As he walks towards her he’s reminded of the morning he’d offered himself to her in the recovery garden of that private hospital.

So sad, she had seemed so sad, looking back. At the time he had thought it was because of their ordeal, maybe even the love she had lost (or that he thought she had lost), he knows better now.

The weight on her shoulders was great and it must have seemed insurmountable. He still wishes she had told him, that she had let him help her… but what’s done is done.

When she looks at him she seems lighter than he can ever remember her looking - even later, on the boat and at the very start of their holiday in Venice.

There’s a brightness to her eyes he’s not seen before, no weight, no part of her forever locked away. Just anxious hope.

“James,” she greets as he sits next to her on the bench.

“Vesper.” He angles himself so he’s facing her and forces himself to relax. “Is that Simon’s coat?” he asks, noticing the familiar grey wool.

“Yes.” She smiles. “He offered and I couldn’t refuse.” Vesper pulls it more tightly around her.

James nods. “I know how that feels.” 

Quiet settles between them, expectant but not fraught. 

“I didn’t replace you with Simon,” James says at last.

“I know. It was wrong of me to say that and, even if you had, I wouldn’t have any right to be hurt by it.” She offers James her hand wordlessly.

He laces his fingers with hers and brings them to rest on his knee. Her hand is cold and she’s not wearing any gloves but it feels like he’s touching a live-wire. Vesper squeezes his fingers and he startles, not outwardly - he’s too well trained for that - but she still knows him well enough to know.

“I want to stay,” she says. “I want to try, but it’s hard and not at all in the way I expected.”

“You don’t need to decide now.”

Vesper’s smile is pained. “I already have.”

“Vesper, what is it?”

She shakes her head and looks away. “I love him.”

“So do I.”

“But this won’t work if we can’t sort ourselves out, will it?” She meets his gaze and James sighs. “I can’t stand the thought of hurting him anymore than I can stand the damage I’ve already done. It’s not just us this time, James and if we can’t - if you can’t stand to be near me without using him as a shield - then it’s only going to fall apart in the long run.”

James swallows and nods, keeping eye contact with her as he does. “Every time I look at you I’m afraid you’ll shatter.” The words scorch his throat and threaten to burn him up from the inside. “And when I touch you I’m worried it’s only an illusion. But when Simon touches you, when he’s holding our hands or sleeping between us, I know you _must_ be real. That you really have come back. That all our years of searching weren’t for nothing. I’m not angry anymore, Vesper. I know why you left and I know you only did it because you couldn't see any other way out. I just need time.”

“So do I. It’s funny,”

“What is?”

“Falling in love with him and have it all feel so new and wonderful. Is this what it was like for you?”

James shakes his head. “It was wonderful, I don’t think I could describe it as anything less, but it was hard and it hurt as often as it didn’t. Simon understood, understood far better than I realised at the time. It got easier and we found our own way.”

“This is why we need to be on the same page,” Vesper confirms.

“For ourselves and for him,” James agrees. 

He considers whether or not to let go of her hand and draw her into his arms but he wants to watch her and let her watch him in turn.

“I spoke to M,” James says (aware her title sounds enough like Em to avoid attention).

“Simon said you'd gone to speak to her.” She smiles at how that sounds and James chuckles at her reaction.

“She’s accepted our assessment of you, and that of Eve and Ronson. Your passport will be completed in the morning. Q will set up whatever bank account you need and you’ll be paid as an informant.”

“Thank you, that’s more than I deserve.”

James shakes his head. “It isn’t. Vesper, as much as it hurt, you’ve helped us take down several major organisations. That counts for a lot.”

She slides closer along the bench but her eyes don’t waver from his.

“What do we do now?”

“We try.”

Hope blooms in her smile and James leans forwards, meeting her lips in a kiss.

*

“Have you told him?” James asks on the walk back to the flat. “That you love him?”

Vesper looks a little guilty. “Not yet, no. I wanted to make sure that we were on the same page first.”

Q comes out of the next door flat when he hears them approaching, he looks at their joined hands and smiles.

“That’s always a good sign,” he says, laptop tucked against his chest with both arms. He’s looking at James like he wants to tell him something but he doesn’t look anything other than pleased.

James lets them in and locks up behind them, squeezing Vesper’s hand before letting go and heading to the kitchen. 

She hangs up Q’s coat next to James’ and slips off her shoes. 

“Since when do you like tea?” she asks, hopping up onto the stool at the breakfast bar so she can sit facing James and rest her back against the table edge.

“I’ve always liked certain types on tea and, life with Q means all our tea is of the finest quality. He used to keep boxes of it locked in a specific drawer in his desk,” James explains as he grabs mugs and fills the kettle.

“Let me guess, he now has a specific area in Q Branch set aside for the finest teas and coffee?”

“Of course,” Q says as he comes back in, setting his laptop behind them and sitting on the stool at Vesper’s side. 

He kisses her cheek and she turns to him.

“What was that for?” she asks with a smile but Q simply smiles and kisses her lips this time.

“Because I can,” he tells her softly.

She thinks she realises what he means.

His hands bunch in her hair and she slips hers around his back, turning towards him as best as she can on the stool.

He’s all soft laughter and gentle touches when he sits back again, looking at her like he’s never been happier. James’ happiness is more tentative but it’s there.

“Come on,” he says, carrying the tea tray and setting it down in the lounge. 

James sits and offers her his hand, pulling her down next to him. Q settles on her other side, tucking his feet up at his side and reaching for his tea. He also takes the remote, but Vesper isn’t paying attention to anything he’s put on. She’s concentrating on James’ arm around her shoulders and his weight at her side, On Q’s hand resting on her knee and his head on her shoulder - once he’s put his mug back down.

*

“Shit. The cats.” 

Vesper blinks her eyes open to find a worried Q on one side and an amused James on the other.

“Cats?” she asks groggily, reaching over to push Q’s hair out of his eyes. “Has something happened to them?”

“Are you allergic to cats?” he asks, suddenly looking very concerned.

Vesper crunches her face in confusion. “No.”

“Q.” James’ voice rumbles from behind her. “It’s just past eight in the morning, you can go back to sleep.”

Instead of settling he sits up, jostling Vesper who’d had her legs entwined with his.

“But I wanted to… James, can we?” He nods to one side in a way he thinks James will understand.

James must, because he gathers Vesper in his arms and sits up. She’s surprised by it but happy to be held so freely by him. She lays her legs over Q’s lap and takes his hand.

“Do you want to come home with us?” Q asks. “R can bring the cats and we can show you where we live.” It all comes out in a rush. 

“Is he like this when he’s drunk?” Vesper asks.

“I don’t know, he very rarely drinks,” James tells her. “He’s like this if he’s over tired or half awake and his brain has taken off on a tangent. And only then if he feels safe.”

“I can hear you. And you haven’t answered my question.”

“It’s a big question, Q,” James warns gently.

Vesper though, Vesper is smiling at him. “Of course I want to come home with you and meet your cats. But R? I thought you said they were with your sister.”

“Ah, yes. Shit.” He reaches for his phone, typing quickly and staring at it intently until there’s an alert and a response. “R is my sister. I’ll introduce you properly later, she’ll bring your passport with her.” He yawns and seems to come back to himself a little bit, tapping his hands on her legs once his phone is away again.

“Tea?” he says. 

“Is that a request or an offer?” James asks in a way that tells her he’s heard this before.

“Request. Then we can pack and head home, but only if you want to,” he says with absolute seriousness.

“I want to,” Vesper tells them. “I _really_ want to.”

*

She can tell, as she walks through the rooms of their house, that they weren’t expecting her to come back with them.

They certainly hoped she would, but it was never a guarantee.

Her room and bathroom in the flat had been filled with everything she would need - sanitary towels and tampons, shampoos and shower gels. Even the dressing gown on her door and some of the food in the kitchen had been chosen for her.

Here, by contrast, is a house made into a home by the two men and the cats that live there. 

She isn’t completely absent, she watches as Q carefully places the photo albums back on the shelf, and she notices a couple of her favourite books there as well. It could be coincidence, or it could be that James took and kept the copies she left behind. 

Q seems happy to let her wander the house on her own. James is in the kitchen and Q goes to join him, leaving the door open and asking her to shout if she needs anything.

She takes in the pictures, see’s one of Q in his study with the young woman she knows as R on her PhD Graduation day, another of Q and his grandparents at his. There’s also a picture of he and James on their wedding day, surrounded by their family and even a faintly smiling M.

It is clear they are happy here, that they have built a life together, but she doesn’t feel excluded from it. 

She goes upstairs, pops her head into the two spacious guest bedrooms on one side and the main bathroom and smaller guest room on the other. Their house is large - and not just by London standards - but their combined income and the sale of James’ old family home has left them well off and able to afford such a lovely home.

She hesitates outside their bedroom but remembers that Q and James had told her nowhere was off limits and Q’s in-built security is enough to keep the door closed if he really wanted to. It opens easily and she steps inside. It’s large and bright but feels cosy and laid out in a way reminiscent of their flat; even the door to the ensuite is in a similar place. 

Vesper heads to Q’s side of the bed, running her fingers over the soft, green cotton of the duvet cover and sits down. 

It’s then that she sees it.

Next to the photo of James and Q on the Isle of Wight is the picture of her in early morning sunshine on the yacht from all those years ago. It’s not in a frame like the other, in fact it’s stuck to the side.

She picks them both up and turns it over. The date tells her it’s a reprint - and a more recent one that James must have had made when he put together the album. 

There’s a quiet nock on the half open door and she turns to find Q stood in the doorway.

“Come in,” she says, cradling the photos in her lap.

He notices the photos are gone from his bedside table and tries to hide his nervous smile.

“R said she’ll be here in a couple of hours.”

She nods and gestures to the bed. After a moments hesitation Q joins her.

“James showed me the album of your holiday,” he says softy. “And I… I told him I thought you were the most beautiful women I’d ever laid eyes on.” He holds his own hands tightly in his lap, twisting them one way or the other in his nervousness. “Or he said that and I agreed…. either way… he gave me the memory card and said I could copy or print whatever I wanted to. This one is my favourite.”

“I was happy. On that yacht with James, with the ocean and all the time in the world. If they hadn't found us in Venice then I would have stayed longer. I never, ever wanted to leave.”

“I know that, James does too.” _Soft, his voice is so soft._

She looks at the picture again and puts it back on Q’s bedside table, turning towards him and bringing her legs up onto the bed.

“Why, Q?”

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to be more specific.”

“Me.”

He doesn’t ask for further clarification but instead takes a moment to compose himself. “I knew that I would always make sure you could have a place in our lives, if you wanted one, but over time I couldn’t help but wonder what you were like, what we’d do if you came back.” He smiles ruefully. “James knows that I was… amenable to the unspoken prospect of… you.”

“I love you,” Vesper tells him, smile growing wider when Q raises his eyes to hers, turning on the bed and shuffling closer.

“Really?” he asks. His whole face is lighting up with his smile and the light in his eyes almost overwhelming.

“Yes. From almost the moment I saw you, before I knew who you really are.”

“I couldn’t stop looking at you. I fell for James so slowly that I didn’t notice what was happening for months, but you… I have known about you for so long and the moment you walked through the door to our flat, I knew.”

Her jaw drops slightly and she knows her eyes have gone wide. She smiles and hopes she can hide the flicker of sadness in her heart. She can’t - of course - and Q looks suddenly worried.

“Vesper?”

“I’m fine, really. It’s just that I never seem to be able to fall in love and have it be uncomplicated and neither can you.”

“Or James.”

She laughs and reaches for Q.

“I love you too,” he tells her as she brings their heads together. 

“It’s going to be hard work,” she finds herself saying, looking into his beautiful hazel eyes that his glasses accentuate instead of diminish.

“I know.” And there’s gravity to the words. “But it’ll be worth it.” He smiles. “It’s already worth it.”

She kisses him, soft and sweet but lets her lips linger against his, then draws her close to him and holds on tightly. Q does the same, shifting on the bed to hold her against his chest.

“Yes, it is.” She closes her eyes and breathes him in, lets herself believe that finally, finally she can have a life with them, that’s she really is home.

James grins when he sees them walk down the stairs hand-in-hand and opens his arms, holding them both against him when they’re close enough and they stand in the hallway for a few endless minutes, finally, finally starting to feel complete.

*

R looks nervous when Q opens the door to her. He helps her carry in the two cat boxes and locks the door behind her.

“We’re in the kitchen,” he says, kneeling down and letting Feynman out of bed box, R does the same with Tesla and earns a mewl of thanks and a weave through her legs. Feynman looks at Q like she’s offended before jumping into his arms and deciding to take advantage of his guilt and enjoy the attention.

R picks up Tesla and they both head into the kitchen. 

Vesper is sat at the window and waves to R. She goes to her and introduces her to Tesla, who seems pleased to have found another human from whom to claim affection from.

“Laura,” he hears her say a little while later, whilst he and James make tea. “You can call me Laura outside of work.”

“It’s lovely to meet you, Laura. Simon has told me about you but until this morning I had no idea you were both his sister and R.” Q looks sheepish but R just smiles at him fondly and shakes her head. “You can call me Vesper,” she says with a smile.

“Thank you.” R looks over at Q and he nods to her. “I know a little about you too, I’m really glad you’re here.”  
Vesper chuckles. “You're not the only one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments or pointers are very, very apprieciated.


	6. Bond

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> M finds herself in a couple of interesting meetings. Q, James and Vesper get better aquainted.

M is known to be overly fond of some of her agents, though she will only admit it in the very rarest of circumstances. It doesn’t do her any good to get sentimental about them, with one exception. 

The final report on the safe recovery of Vesper Lynd lies on her desk, Moneypenny and 008 and left it with her earlier that day.

That one at least was short, to the point and completed successfully. The only real loss is that 007 and Q will remain on leave for at least another week whilst they settle into their new lives.

She will think on that later. 

Gareth Mallory is an exception man with an interesting history, one she’s only been privy to for a few days. But he isn’t here on her request.

“I’m not going to offer you the job, you know. And I’m certainly not going to retire. The recent work done by MI6 has been a resounding success, not just for us but for our allies as well.”

“M, I am well aware of that. I’m not here for the position. I’m here to help.”

“Help? What help?”

“It can’t have escaped your notice that no less than three minister and shadow ministers are implicated in this and two others have been arrested. This is monumental and as good as your organisation are, you need help.”

“And you think I’ll accept it from you?”

He smiles but it’s not the cruel smile she somehow expected from him. The man comes across as a jaguar pretending to be a house cat, forever waiting to pounce with deadly accuracy but he’s not. He is instead a man with a dual nature that has finally found peace with who he is.

“You don’t have to.”

M huffs. “Yes I do, Mallory, I know what you’ve been involved in these last few weeks, I know you’ve helped ensure we don’t have to worry about certain individuals in MI5 but I still don’t think we need you.”

His smile is pained. “The truth is, M, that I’ve been advised not to stay in my current position and I need somewhere to lay low for a while.”

“What? I give you a desk job and you claim an advisor position?”

He nods. “I am the very last person who will suggest that you retire. Your record is exemplary and your recent success is without question but the hard work is far from over.”

M thinks on it, thinks about it and wonders if this meeting may actually help her in the long run. Gareth Mallory is not as shrewd as she herself is and actually reminds her a little of Bond, though they’ve never met and that will help.

“You want to come in as an advisor, to help coordinate resources and follow proper procedures. You do know who you’ll be working with.” He nods. “And you’ll need a team assigned to you for protection.”

“A team does seem a bit excessive.”

“Fine, I have someone in mind who might be up to the challenge.” She sighs. “You can take the position, Mallory, I’ll have Tanner meet you and start the process.”

“Thank you, M.”

She shakes her head and dismisses him with a wave of her hand.

“Mallory?” she asks just as he reaches the door.

“M?”

“Exactly how much trouble did you cause?” she asks, wondering what it took for him to ask for a meeting directly.

“In the last week or when I was an agent?”

M smiles and nods her approval. “Good day, Mallory. And good luck.”

***

Her next meeting, a day later, doesn’t go nearly as well.

“Excuse me?” James asks, sitting up in his seat to reduce his staring range.

“I want you to take over as head of the Double-O division.”

“That’s your job.”

She scowls. “My _job_ as, you so kindly put it, is to oversee the whole of MI6. Agents are not always my primary concern.”

His raised eyebrows are argument enough and she resists the need to stand.

“You’re not going back into the field after this. It wouldn’t surprise me if you’ve brought a letter of resignation with you. It’s as easy to get rid of as an email, Bond.”

He has the good sense to look affronted. “Q said that would be in bad taste.”

“Your husband is correct.”

Bond always smiles when she calls Q that, a happy little smile that goes all the way to his eyes. One he only lets her see in private.

“It’s true,” he says. “That I was considering it. You know as well as I do that my behaviour in the field has changed since things got serious between me and Q.”

“Yes, quite substantially. You seemed to finally realise that you could get the job done with your pants still on.”

He huffs out a small laugh. “That may have had more to do with the missions I was assigned.”

“You didn’t decline them.”

He shakes his head. “There wasn’t any point. You know how much my work and my country mean to me, M. Sometimes my ego can take a backseat.”

“Which is why you should accept the position.”

“I don’t want to spend my time sat behind a desk.”

She laughs. “And you think you will be? Do you have any idea how much work it is to keep you all in line?”

Bond smirks. “Some.”

“James.” That gets his attention. “Take the damn job, please. You’ll still be keeping your country safe and be able to go home to your husband and lover.”

“Can I think about it?” he asks, she knows what he really means.

“Yes.”

“I’ll let you know by Monday.” But he doesn’t stand to leave and instead actually settles back in his chair.

“Bond?” M raises her eyebrows.

“You know how every now and again we have a conversation in which you don’t constantly berate me and I don’t answer back?”

“Yes?”

“Do you think we could have one of those now?”

“We don’t normally plan them, and there have only been two.”

Bond smiles and it’s genuine, real, his mask is gone.

“James, what is it?” she asks, dropping her pretences as well. 

“I wanted to thank you. For putting me with Q and for letting me look for Vesper, and for bringing her home.”

“You have done a lot for your country, James and you made it quite clear that we would lose you if we didn’t help.” She sighs and settles back into her chair. “It was mutually beneficial - apparently to all involved, but I didn’t do it for that reason alone. I have seen what that sort of loss does to people - and I don’t mean the tyrannical mad men and women that constantly pose a threat to our society. I mean that I have watched it destroy people and I couldn’t do that to you, not when you had lost so much already and not when she had done so much to safeguard your life.” James nods and she continues. “I was worried when you and Q got together and not for the reasons most suspect. When it was made clear to me that you would both keep looking for her I thought it was out of a past sense of duty to a lost love, but you surprised me again. You’ve constantly surprised me, James. That’s the other reason I offered you this job.”

He looks out of the window for a while and looks back to M.

“As soon as I’ve spoken to Q and Vesper, I’ll take the job. You know neither of them will object. Reasonable working hours and more time to spend with them… I may not think I deserve it but it’s what I want.”

M smiles. “There are very few people in our line of work who ever think they deserve happiness, James, and most of them don’t ever expect it. I don’t have to tell you that it won’t be easy, but it also won’t be as hard as I imagine, will it.”

James shakes his head. “No, I don’t think so. They’re quite taken with each other.”

M studies him for a long time and allows herself to show her hand now, rather than later. 

“James?”

“Yes?”

“Should you ever want to, should things get to the point where you feel you want to make it official, you can marry her. Both you and Q will be permitted to marry her.”  
James stares and stares and stares, blue eyes wide with shock.

“That… might be a long way off.”

“Does she know about the ring?” M asks carefully, remembering the first such honest conversation they’d had; Bond turning up on her doorstep instead of breaking in, and looking so utterly heartbroken that she hadn’t been able to turn him away.

He swallows hard and bows his head. “No.”

“Does he?”

“Yes.” It comes out choked. “Yes, I couldn’t keep it from him. It felt like too much of a secret between us, given he already knew the rest.”

She gives him time to recover, to settle his mind and heart and doesn’t tell him that her decision to offer him the job isn’t based on him alone. Q is the best Quartermaster MI6 has ever had and she can’t risk his ability to do his job. Having Bond in the field hasn’t so far done so but if Q were to lose Bond it would. Having Vesper Lynd back is enough cause to keep Bond grounded and Q safe, thus ensuring the best possible future for MI6. 

That doesn’t detract from how much she cares for him but it reassures her that she’s making the right decision for all concerned. 

“James?” she asks at length.

“Sorry,” he says, a fragile smile back in place.

“It’s quite alright. And this can’t have been easy for you, no matter how well its ended up. You have the rest of the week off and I’m sure a lot to do. Your new position will start the moment you come back to work.”

“Thank you.” His smile is more solid but no less genuine.

“You’re welcome, James.”

He nods and stands but the moment doesn’t break. “When we’re settled in, you should come for dinner. I’m sure at some point Q’s grandparents will want to meet Vesper.”

“And you’d like some moral support when faced with your astoundingly accepting in-laws. No doubt R will be there as well.”  
James smiles. “Yes, of course.”

“Let me know. Please also let Vesper know that I’d like to see her.” She smiles up at him. “Nothing to worry about, I just thought she might like someone to talk to. I know she’s friends with Eve but the offer is there if she wants it.”

“Thank you.” He doesn’t call her M and he doesn’t call her Olivia, it’s an odd sign of respect but one she very much appreciates.

“You’re welcome, James. I’ll see you on Monday.”

***

“James,” Q says. “My leg is asleep.”

For a moment the only reply he gets is a deep, warm chuckle against his ear. “Which one?” 

“Don’t be crude, it’s unbecoming,” he remarks, trying to extract his left leg from underneath James.

James huffs in mock annoyance and Q finally wriggles free. Only to then have to deal with the unpleasant feeling of pins and needles as his leg wakes up.

The ensuite door opens and Vesper comes in, hair wrapped up in a towel and her fluffy dressing gown tied loosely around her.

“You two would make a very inviting picture if Q did’t look so tortured,” she comments, heading to the wardrobe and taking out her clothes.

Q scowls at James and elbows him lightly in the ribs, all he does in response is laugh.

“Pins and needles,” Q explains.

Vesper looks up from her underwear drawer with a bemused expression on her face.

“Dare I ask where?” 

“My left leg,” he says, shaking it underneath the covers and not at all sorry when he ends up kicking James.

Vesper hesitates for a moment when she reaches for her clothes. 

“We can duck under the covers,” James says. “I can help Q get some feeling back into his leg?”

She laughs. “No need,” she tells them and instead faces the wall and drops her dressing gown, allowing Q a lovely, long look at her back.

He hides his smile underneath the covers and, though he tries to look away, his eyes linger. Vesper would have requested privacy or headed into the room she has unofficially requested as her own office and space.

Which means she either really, really doesn’t mind…. or wants them to look. Q swallows. She’s utterly lovely even when getting dressed first thing in the morning.

“M says she’s meeting me outside the gate and taking me to breakfast, I should be back in a few hours,” she tells them once she’s dressed and starts on her hair.  
She had taken M up on her offer far quicker than he or James had expected and with none of the hesitation she’d had when James told them he was taking the position M had offered him.

Q understands - even though it’s not something he would have ever asked James to do - that for James it was either take it or retire. His head isn’t in the game anymore and his loyalty to Queen and Country means his numerous talents are much better used elsewhere within MI6 than completely discarded. 

Q wriggles underneath James’ arm to settle back against his chest and doze. Unlike James and Vesper, he had been called into work yesterday to attend a couple of important meetings and then had to stay late in Q Branch with R. As such he got home and just dropped into bed and barely even remembers James and Vesper joining him. He is glad they got some time together, to talk and rebuild their relationship. It’s going to be the hardest part of this and in some ways Q knows he has it the easiest. He’s been head over heels in love with James for years and he already loves Vesper in a way he knows will last. He just needs to remain mindful of their relationship with each other and balance keeping the peace - when needed - and paying attention to his own needs.

A relationship between two people is hard enough, both he and James will attest to that, but between three is even harder. It’s still worth it, they all know that and it’s why, Q thinks, they’ll be able to make it work.

Vesper comes back over to the bed and kisses them both.

“I have my phone and my keys,” she says, letting Q know she has her emergency radio and distress beacon. “Are you still going to be in bed when I get back?” She’s smiling, looking on them both with affection.

“No,” Q tells her, raising his head to see her better. “We’ll be up.”

She smirks and looks down the bed. “Don’t let me stop you.”

Q chokes and he must look faintly horrified. “I don’t mind,” she tells him. 

James ruffles his hair. “We’ll be downstairs when you get back, I’ll make sure Q’s wide awake and showered.”

Vesper chuckles, kissing them both again and heading out of the door.

“I love you,” she says, “And I’ll see you later.”

*  
Vesper comes home to a James and Q lounging together in the front room. They’re freshly showered and look contented and relaxed. Q is leaning back against James and settled comfortably into the V of his legs. The cats are on the windowsill keeping guard and the whole tableau is inviting.

Q reaches his hand out to her along the back of the sofa the moment he sees her at the door. It seems like such a natural and unconscious gesture and it warms her heart. 

James smiles at her when she steps in and it reaches all the way to his blue eyes. They’re open to her now, and though the hurt lingers, it’s starting to heal.

She flops down onto them and revels in the feeling of Q’s arms tightening around her, and James’ fingers gathered in her hair.

“I take it things went well,” Q says. His smile radiant when she looks up at him, resting her chin on his chest.

“Yes.” She gives him a quick kiss and tips her head up. “You know, James, you always made her sound like such a tyrant, but you didn’t tell me that you’re her favourite.”

His laughter jostles them all.

“She doesn’t usually like to admit it.”

“Well, she did today.”

“What happened?” Q asks, hands resting warm on her lower back.

“We talked. Just talked and had breakfast and it was… normal.”

They both look surprised but don’t comment, and her raised eyebrows and tight smile tells them that she was too.

“It suddenly occurred to me this morning, whilst sat with her, that this is really real. That I have two men who loved me enough that they never gave up on me, and then they brought me home.” She’s smiling but the odd sensations of being both happy and sad all at the same time are making her voice shake.

James cups her cheek. “Vesper, you can have us, all of us.” His careful choice of words resonate and she nods and smiles through the tears threatening to fall, kissing Q and closing her eyes to drown out the sadness with his tenderness and affection.

He kisses her deeply, languid and slow and she thinks she’d feel devoured if it wasn’t done with so much love. James keeps his hand on her head, and when she and Q part to breathe she leans into his hand and turns to press a kiss against his palm.

Q moves up against the side of the sofa to allow Vesper the space to reach over and kiss James. She can feel his eyes on them the whole time and his breathing doesn’t seem to settle. 

James kisses her softly to start but then firmer, sparking arousal with every move of his tongue against hers.

When she collapses against his chest, still half lying on Q, it is clear to her that there are two ways this can go. But only one way she really wants it to.

She pulls Q closer and kisses him with intent, pushing her hips down against his - just enough to let him know it’s deliberate. James groans and Vesper smiles against Q’s kiss-swollen lips.

“Vesper.” Q’s eyes are focussed on hers. “Are you sure?” He’s so earnest and serious despite the flare of arousal in his eyes - and starting to press against her inner-thigh - and it’s clear to her (once again) just how much he cares.

“Yes,” she whispers loud enough for them both to hear, and kisses his lips again. “Yes, I am.” 

Q moans breathless and needy when they part again, but he can’t quite reach James at this angle.

“Upstairs,” James says and when they get up to leave, he has to help Q to stand, meaning at least that they can finally kiss. 

James and Q both have hold of Vespers hands and she feels the electricity run from one to the other and back again as Q barely restrains himself from hooking a leg around James’ waist and - from the looks of it - devouring him entirely. She’s thrilled at the thought that she now knows exactly how that feels.

They tug her between them and Q presses kisses to her neck, picking up on the moment her legs almost go out from under her and her hand gathers in his hair, holding him in place as James keeps them all upright.

She feels James’ smile against her cheek, feels the relief in his strong arms around her, and his love in the reverent way he’s watching her and Q.

“Come on, both of you, we can do this properly upstairs.

*  
James remembers another afternoon, running through the rain and the trees to reach his private room at the hospital, laughing and kissing and ultimately falling on the floor. Vesper had laughed and smiled and kissed him even in a bruised tangle beside the bed.

He remembers Q that first holiday on the Isle of wight, turning over one morning and kissing him senseless, climbing on top of him and quietly, reverently taking him apart.

They are both cherished memories - the former no longer tainted by the years in between - but this feels like the start of something new. The final piece of the foundation for their new lives together.

Q strips out of his own clothes as fast as James has ever seen him, but he’s more gracious with Vesper’s, leaving her in her bra and nickers when she turns to James.

He doesn’t know if she’s remembering the same afternoon that he is or whether her smile is simply because of how happy she is, but he matches it. When he catches Q’s eyes he can see him biting his lip and lightly stroking himself through his boxer shorts.

James finds his attention torn but he's not alone, Vesper falls down onto the bed next to Q and pulls James down with her.

He leans over her and slides his hand into Q’s unruly curls, then meets his mouth in a kiss. He realises faintly that he’s never kissed him like this in front of Vesper. It’s liberating.

Q turns behind him when James releases him so he runs his fingers along Vesper’s arm and up to her shoulder.

“James,” she says softly, “You can.” He nods and for a moment he’s six years younger again and experiencing love in all it’s wonderful glory for the first time. He swallows against the memory and shuts his eyes for a moment, closing his fingers around her shoulder and rubbing his thumb in soothing arcs against her skin. 

James can hear Q opening his bedside drawer and pulling out condoms then pause for a moment before picking up the lube and leaving them both on top. Q comes back to them just as James opens his eyes and he keeps a small, careful distance.

James bends down and presses kisses against Vesper’s forehead, temple and mouth, whilst finally moving his hand down to cup her breast.

She sighs out against his mouth, her eyes beautiful in the light when he looks down at her. He smiles and lets understanding pass between them, kissing her again then sitting back to take Q’s hand and squeeze, letting him know they’re all still fine.

“Q,” Vesper says, reaching out for him, “You can too.”

He smiles, and after a quick glance at James, slides back down onto the bed and goes straight for Vespers neck, sucking at the skin where it meets her shoulder. Her hand clenches on his back and her breaths come in pants. She arches herself up against him and Q presses down, rubbing just enough to have her moaning in minutes.

James is mesmerised just watching them, looking on as the two people he loves most in the world experience this together for the first time.

The thrum of arousal snaps him out of it and he scoots over, thumbs sliding under the elastic of Q’s boxers.

“Allow me.” He says the words against Q’s back, feeling the tingles that run across his skin. 

James slips one hand underneath the front to hold Q’s erection out of the way as he pulls down his shorts, not stopping until he pulls them off completely and throws them to the floor.

He starts to take off his own but Vesper pulls him forwards, Q is now lying next to her, kissing her shoulder and sliding one arm beneath her back to unhook her bra. 

She pulls his tee shirt over his head, kissing him once he’s free of it then pulls down his shorts. Vesper looks but keeps her hands on his waist. 

James understands, looks to Q then back to her and nods. 

Vesper lifts herself up on her elbows to give Q enough room to get her bra off, dropping down for him to slide it off her arms. Then, carefully, he lays his hands on her breasts.

“Lovely,” he tells her, smile closed but wide. “Can I?” he asks, eyes darting down to her nickers.

“Of course, please.” Vesper lifts her hips and Q bites his lip as he draws them down and off, running his hands back up her legs to rest on her hips. He swallows as he takes in the sight of her and James finds he has to see what he’s looking at.

Vesper takes James’ hand and guides it down between her legs, her eyes never leaving Q’s.

Q gaps out at the sight of it, of James’ fingers moving between her legs. “Oh, that’s….” 

James turns and kisses him, being careful to move his fingers against Vesper in time with his tongue in Q’s mouth. The result is a heightened level of pleasure from both his husband and their lover. Vesper rocks against his fingers and Q pants against his mouth. 

“Exquisite,” Q gasps out. “Both of you.”

“I agree,” Vesper adds. 

“Who’s…” Q trails off, eyes gesturing to the condoms and lube on his bedside table.

James stops the movement of his fingers and presses instead, Vesper moans and tightens her thighs around them.

They all know they’re all clean and Vesper is already on contraception, but Q has always had an aversion to unneeded mess and James hasn’t ever gotten out of the habit of using condoms. 

It’s just a matter of who where and this is the first time of many so it doesn’t really matter… only… James feels like it does.

“Simon,” Vesper says, squeezing his hand in hers. 

“Oh, _oh_ , yes.” He nods and reaches, making quick work of the wrapper and rolling it on.

*

“Kiss me?” she asks and Q obliges immediately.

Her hand moves to the back of his neck and she opens her mouth wide. The kiss isn’t hurried, she seems to prefer the slow-build of it, and Q, ever willing to please, eases his hand back to her breast and kneads gently.

James lingers then gets up, kissing down Q’s back and using his hands to massage his taught muscles.

Vesper rubs her nose with his and smiles, he returns it then moves, looking down at her. It has been a very long time since he’s been with anyone but James but, he reasons, noting how Vesper is looking at him, and how very much he wants her, this is about adding and not taking away.

Q drops down onto his elbows and lines up, pressing in slowly and sighing out in pleasure at the feel of her around him. He feels James’s hand on his back and wonders for a moment if he’s just going to sit and watch. Somehow that doesn’t feel right.

Vesper notices too and sits herself up, hooking her legs behind Q’s back. He rests on his legs and pulls her up into his arms, moaning into her neck when she tightens around him.

“I really will come, “ he says.

“Hmmm, I know,” she replies with a breathless smile. “James?” 

He nods, slides on a condom and rearranges the pillows behind him so he can lie back.

Vesper rests against his front, his cock rests against her bum cheeks and lower back so when Q moves inside her, she moves against James in turn.

Q manages to relax enough to enjoy it, to enjoy her. The way her breath hitches when he finally manages to brush her clit as he moves.

“He’s close,” James tells Vesper, his lips moving over her ear.

Q keens, trying to maintain a steady pace but still wanting to bring Vesper with him. When he feels James’ hand slide back down to help he smiles, panting out against Vesper’s neck as he speeds up and feels his orgasm start to build in earnest.

He comes in a long moan against her neck, and feels her clench around him when she joins him a moment later. 

Then James - who’s been thrusting gently against her - follows, holding Q against them both and dropping his head back against the wall.

*

It’s only 2 in the afternoon but they’re all cleaned up and snuggled together in fresh pyjamas. James made sandwiches and brought up tea, and they eat and settle, gathered together in their large bed.

Vesper smiles when Q looks at her, follows the line of her dressing gown to where it closes just above her breasts. He bites his lip and turns his attention to his sandwich to avoid sliding his hand inside. 

She laughs, then drinks her tea, eyes bright and glinting with mischief when Q looks up at her again.

He opens his mouth to apologise but Vesper shakes her head.

“You certainly don’t need to say you're sorry, you’re more than welcome but let me eat first.”

He feels the heat rise in his cheeks but he doesn’t look away for long. Just enough to see the way James is smirking at him.

It’s wonderful, he thinks, to be at the stage in their relationship when he can love and want her freely. There is a spark of excitement with how new it all is, and best of all he gets to share this with James as well as Vesper. 

They haven’t ever been lacking between them, he and James, but this feels special and even if it doesn’t end in sex, Q wants to explore her all over again.

When they’ve eaten and it’s all cleared away, Vesper slips off her robe and sits herself on Q’s lap. He swallows so loudly that James chuckles.

“Now you're shy?” his husband teases and Q smacks his shoulder lightly, scowling.

He turns his attention happily to Vesper, tracing the curves of her breasts with his fingers, cupping them and feeling their weight, sliding his hands around to her back and holding her close against his naked chest. He moves a hand to stroke her hair, pressing his face into her neck and breathing her in.

She’s solid and warm against him, her breasts mould against his chest, her hips rest against his crotch. One hand is in his hair and the other pressed tight against his back. This isn’t a sexual exploration, he’s not aroused and suspects she isn’t either, but it is intimate and wonderful none the less. 

Vesper is their missing piece and he still can’t believe she's here. Holding her, feeling her breathing, her body warm in his, helps to settle his nerves the way it used to do whenever James came back from a long mission and they’d just lie together in bed.

“James?” Q asks.

“Hm?”

“I wouldn’t be adversed to you joining us.”

James chuckles and Vesper laughs against Q’s skin, he shudders at the tingles it sends over his him.

“Since you asked so nicely,” James remarks, also removing his robe and seating himself behind Q.

They shift and adjust until they’re all in contact with each other, James even manages to pull the blanket around them all to stave off the slight afternoon chill.

Within half an hour Q can feel James harden against his back and Vesper keeps rocking forwards in a way that suggests she’s at least a little interested.

Q, still feeling more content than aroused, moves to excuse himself and gets under the blanket, leaving Vesper and James looking at him strangely.

“Im not going to stop you,” he says. “In fact I’d quite like to watch.” He hasn’t ever had the libido James has and he’s never been particularly ashamed of it either. Plus he’s sure that by the end of this he’ll be ready to go and he’ll happily finish himself in the unlikely event neither of them want to help him.

James looks at Vesper and she smiles. “There is something,” she admits, glancing down between her own legs then back up at James, who looks like the wind has been knocked out of him for just a moment.

He turns to Q. “Are you sure?”

Q smiles. “Hmm, of course. I’ve always wondered how good you are at that and obviously I can’t experience it for myself so this is the closest I’ll get.” He meets Vesper’s eyes. “He’s superb at fellatio.”

She hums and settles down on the bed next to Q, rolling onto her side for a moment to kiss him soundly. 

“Will I be able to watch that as well?”

Q shudders and reaches for her mouth again, kissing her with more interest than he expected. “Of course.”

Vesper rolls back and settles as James places his hands on her, running them both down her sides and meeting in the middle, stroking her in just the right place as he settles down.

Q swallows as James presses kisses from her belly button down to where his fingers are stroking. Q lifts up onto his elbows as James sinks down to rest on his own, he’s more curious than he wants to admit - it seems childish to wonder how it’s done or what it must feel like.

Vesper reaches her hand out to his shoulder. “Some people think this is a race,” she explains and her voice has a lovely breathless quality to it. “And they approach it with speed in the hopes they can just get it over with.”

Q decides he can watch James’ attentions another time, that maybe he can have him teach him, for now he’d like to be closer to her.

“James, however, knows how to take his time, _ohhhh_.” Her voice breaks off and she tips her head back in a breathy moan. 

Q kisses her shoulder. “He’s very good, isn’t he.”

She has one hand in James’s hair, running through it rather than pressing him closer. Q smiles against her skin in understanding. He feels safe with James in all aspects of their lives including sexual intimacy because he cares about giving his partners pleasure; he doesn’t rush it to get to his own and it isn’t a tool or a bribe. 

Vesper is keening softly and Q can tell that she’s keeping herself as relaxed as possible, James’s pace seems steady but equally relaxed. 

Q smiles and presses kisses into her neck in time with their rhythm. He has some appreciating of what this will feel like, the kind of pleasure that tingles through her nerves from the tips of her toes all the way up to her fingers but still centring where James’ tongue is moving against her.

He’s hard by the time Vesper’s hand tightens in his hair.

“Are you close?” he asks.

“Yes. Q, kiss me?” 

He does just that and feels her moan into his mouth the moment she starts to come. She shudders with it, gasping out against his lips and holding him close to her as the aftershocks run through her. When he moves back to see her eyes they’re hazy with pleasure and she’s looking at him - then down at James - with reverence and bliss. 

James pushes himself up and presses kisses along her hip and side, panting against her skin as he catches his breath.

His eyes meet Q’s and he swallows. He knows that look, is more than aware of what normally comes right along after.

“Q.” James’ voice is deep and raw and it lights up every nerve in Q’s body. 

He is awake and aroused and he wants _now_. 

Vesper runs her hand up along his back and he closes his eyes, surrendering himself to both of them.

He feels strong arms roll him onto his back, knows it’s Vesper kissing his shoulder as James moves to rest over him. He leans down slowly and Q bites his lip as James’ fingers circle is erection. Q moans and scrambles to pull Vesper closer, needing skin on skin contact. 

James dips his head down and captures his mouth in a kiss the moment Q opens his eyes. He pushes himself up into it, groaning when James’s hand guides Q’s erection to rub along his own.

He has one hand gathered in Vesper’s hair and the other on James’ back, holding on as he rides the sensations sparking through him.

It really, really doesn’t take long and he’s coming before he knows it - James almost immediately afterwards.

His breathing is stuttered and he can’t stop shaking, he blinks up at James and feels tears run down his cheeks. He’s so happy but at the same time so confused and scared and it’s overwhelming in a way sex never has been before.

“Hey, hey, Simon, come here,” James soothes, but Q shakes his head, biting his lip. “Vesper?”

Q forces himself to let go of her hair and she darts into the bathroom, coming back with a warm flannel and a towel.

James keeps eye contact the whole time she’s gone, strokes his hair and face while they wait. 

Q is used to their intimacy, to always being wholly open with James, so he hopes he’s able to express what he can’t say in words. He’s not even sure that he understands it.  
Vesper’s hesitant but James is reassuring, open in his body language even though he barely moves.

James cleans them both up, towels them dry and wraps it all up together, putting it next to the bed. Q can’t help but feel a little ashamed of himself but he’s barely able to focus on anything, even when James slides his glasses back on.

This time, when James settles on top of him, Q welcomes it but reaches out for Vesper, grabbing hold of her hand and tugging gently. If she doesn’t want to join them then he won’t make her, but he needs her, too.

He hears a sob escape him and buries his head in James’ shoulder in shame, grasping at his back with his other hand.

Vesper pulls the duvet up and over them as she tentatively rests against Q.

“I love you,” James tells him in between soothing words and comforting touch.

“I love you too,” Vesper says gently, closer. She slides her arm under him and Q knows James has his arm around her too, forming a cocoon of warmth and safety for him whilst he calms down.

He doesn’t know how long he cries for, he loses his sense of time, but eventually his mind starts to clear and he calms down.

“I’m sorry,” he tells them.

“What for?” Vesper asks, stroking the tears from his eyes.

Even this close he can’t tell what colour her eyes are. Beautiful, wonderful woman. He doesn’t want for her to ever leave them. 

_Oh, oh_.

“Shit.” He trusts her, he loves her but he is still so afraid and he’s been trying so hard not to be. 

Fear, after all, is not rational and for once he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

“It’s okay,” James whispers. “I know and it’s okay.”

Q kisses Vesper and it’s desperate, deep and needy. James keeps his face pressed to Q’s neck the entire time, pressing kisses against his skin.

Vesper pours herself into it in return and they’re both - all three - left raw and bared to each other in the aftermath. 

No matter what people say; Q always feels more intimacy in moments like these than he ever has during sex.

Vesper carefully removes Q’s glasses and kisses his forehead, his nose, his mouth. She lingers as she lets him look at her and bares as much of herself as she can for as long as she can.

Q knows how much that can cost a person so their next kiss is soft, lingering and warm.

“Do you want tea?” she asks and it startles a laugh out of him.

“In a while,” he says, relaxing when she settles down with them again.

James lifts his head and rests on Q’s chest, his fingers drawing patterns over Vesper’s arm.

Lazy intimacy settles between them and Q drifts in and out of a doze but Vesper and James stay with him until hunger and their cats draw them down into the kitchen for food.

Q helps himself to Vesper’s dressing gown and one of James’ shirts, relieved when neither comment and pleased when Vesper wears his in return.  
James cooks and Q curls in Vesper’s lap on the window seat watching the sunset with the cats at their side.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Appologies for the delay, not being well and some RL things got in the way. Thanks to all those who leave Kudos or comments - they really, really mean a lot.


	7. M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lots of things start with the letter M.

Over the following months things have settled down enough that James feels confident in his new position and things at MI6 have calmed to normal levels.

Vesper’s accounting accreditations have been re validated and she’s working from her lovely new office at their home. She does, unsurprisingly, still get called into MI6 for her expertise now and again to work with both M and Gareth Mallory. 

He is as surprised to see her at their first meeting as she is to see him. It turns out that she met him once - a very long time ago - under an assumed identity. This only serves to lead to an odd sort of friendship between them and she doesn't mind working with him at all; which has the added benefit of allowing her friendship with Eve to continue. 

Q and James introduce her to his grandparents at a large family dinner that does - to no ones surprise - involve R and M as well. 

“It’s a relief,” Q’s grandmother tells Vesper after dinner. “That they found you, I was worried they’d spend their whole lives searching. But you, you must have had it worse on your own, not knowing if there was anyone to come back to.”

Vesper nods silently and sips her tea. “I can honestly say that this is not at all what I expected.”

Marigold smiles. “Life very rarely is.” She shrugs. “Which is why it’s always better to make the most of it when you can.”

“I’m trying to,” Vesper says, feeling the need to reassure this kind woman who’s welcomed her into her home. “I love them both very much.”

“As they do you, Vesper. We all do, you’re welcome here whenever you want. James tells me you used to play piano so you’re welcome to come and play here. Simon plays too - though rarely now - so we always make sure to keep it in tune.”

“I had no idea.”

Marigold’s smile is warm and indulgent. “Laura plays flute and so Simon sometimes plays with her, and my husband and I play violin. You’d be welcome to practice here, unless you’re planning to get your own?”

“I hadn’t even thought about it but I’d love to.”

They look over to the others - Q and M are talking with Laura whilst William and James chat as they make coffee on the counter.

“I can show you, if you like?”

Vesper nods and stands, following Marigold into the music room. It’s warm and bright, the piano is in tune and after showing her where everything is, Marigold excuses herself, giving Vesper her privacy.

She plays the scales she remembers, warming her fingers up and reliving lessons and practice drills from her childhood and teenage years. She’s never been good enough to be professional, and it’s been three years since she’s touched a piano at all - she spent a few months playing in a bar in Belgium to keep herself afloat - but it’s wonderful and familiar.

A faint knock at the door draws her attention an hour or so later and she tells them to come in without looking up.

It’s Q that walks in, closing the door behind him with a warm smile lighting up his face.

“You really do play,” he says, walking towards her.

“Not as well as I used to.” Though some of her favourite pieces have flowed from her fingers as she’s practised, a muscle memory she didn’t even know she had.

“Would you mind if I joined you?”

Vesper shakes her head and moves along the piano seat. “Not at all. I had no idea you played either.”

“I’ve thought about getting a piano in the house but it’s always seemed like such an extravagant purchase when there’s one here. Even though most of the time I don’t bother to play when I do visit.” 

They play a couple of simple tunes, moving around a couple of duets and harmonies as they sit together.

“I could,” he adds a little while later. “We could, I mean, get a piano at home. I wouldn’t visit my family any less if we did.”

Vesper thinks about it, about evenings spent with him and James in the spacious living room of the house, playing piano and talking, dancing…. James still loves to dance and Q has always joined in happily, it would be lovely. Playing alone to bring life to the house when one or the other of them are at work…. she would like it. It’s an odd sensation to think about such small things, to imagine more of their lives together. It is already so much more than she thought she deserved.

“Of course, we don’t have to.”

Vesper leans over and kisses his cheek. “But we should, between us I think we can afford it.”

Q nods and doesn’t even try to hide his smile.

***  
Months and months later they take a holiday together. 

M gives them two weeks off and practically has to force Q out of Q Branch - threatening to come down there herself if he doesn’t leave the building.

But with R’s reassurance and the previous crisis over with he does leave.

He helps James pack the car and leaves their cats with his grandparents whilst R is at work. Vesper and James take turns driving to Southampton, so, before the end of the day they’re on the Isle of Wight approaching the cottage James and Q have stayed in before.

Vesper is quiet on their drive; having handed over to Q in the waitrose carpark just after getting into Cowes. 

James watches her carefully from the back seat but he doesn't comment. She’s had a lot to process - much more than he and Q have - over the last year or so and there are times when all she needs is her own space.

They are all the same in that respect. Each have moments where they need privacy. Q settles in his office reading corner with the cats and a book, Vesper will sit at the new piano and play whatever comes to mind, and James will sit in the kitchen or the garden as he stares at nothing.

He has found over the years that he’s more inclined to seek Q’s company after a while of quiet contemplation, even if all they do is occupy the same space.

Vesper also seeks Q’s company, but tentatively, carefully, they also seek each others.

Her constant presence has reassured him day by day that she’s not going anywhere. Even their arguments and storming off has been wonderful because it means they’re strong enough that they’ll work through it. 

After they’ve unpacked James stays downstairs while Q shows Vesper around. Both the bathroom and the shower room have been updated since the last time they were here but otherwise it’s the same lovely cottage.

Q comes back down to find James in the kitchen, cups of tea waiting for them.

“Vesper’s having a shower, she’ll be down in a bit.”

James nods then opens his arms to Q, holding him close when he leans against him.

“How is she?” he asks, taking deep breaths with his nose buried in Q’s hair.

“She’s fine, it’s probably somewhat surreal for her to be here with us. It is the only part of our lives we hadn’t yet introduced her to.” Q squeezes his arms around James’ back. “She’s just getting used to it, it’s also the first time she’s been out of London since she got back.”

“It’s the longest I’ve spent in once place, too.”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that, it is, isn’t it.” Q nuzzles closer and James feels his fingers pull his shirt out of his trousers. Q’s hands travel back up his back and he relaxes almost instantly. James kisses his hair and rubs his back.

“I’m not complaining.”

“No, you’re not. We did say you’d enjoy it.”

“You did, we’ll see how it goes after M retires in a few months time.”

Q tenses but doesn’t look up.

James doesn’t think he can hold him any tighter but he tries.

“She asked me to tell you. Mallory’s going to take over as M, which I have no objection to, but I might have to put in a few extra hours here and there.” Q relaxes. “I’m not running MI6, Q, I would have out right refused if she’d even dared offer it to me. And you like Mallory.”

“I do; he’s a good man and I’m sure he’ll be an excellent M, it’s just a shock, that’s all.”

“She can’t run it forever, even she has admitted that.”

“What will she do now?”

James huffs out a laugh, it was the first thing he had asked her. “Antagonise me, I think. Ever since she met your grandmother she’s decided to play the role of my mother.”

Q chuckles and finally moves enough to be able to look at him. 

“Better?” James asks gently.

“Yes.” He kisses him, smiling as he comes back into focus.

“We don’t have to do this here,” James reminds him. “There isn’t any rush.”

Q smiles his loveliest smile. “I know, but you want to and I want to and it feels right.”

“How about this evening?” James suggests, aware that neither he nor Q want to drag this out.

“Good idea.”

*  
Q fidgets on the drive over, but disguises it well enough by being on his phone and texting R about the cats.

She misses them being around so much that he’s determined to take her to the Cat Home so that she can have one of her own once they’re back.

Vesper’s brightened up and relaxed into the cottage and the Island. She and James talk about this and that in the front and she helps Q out of the back when they’re parked up and ready to go. It’s late spring so it’s still light out but they grab a blanket from the boot of the car just incase.

“It’s lovely,” she says as they walk to the little wind break hut on the top of the shore.

“Hmm, we’ve only been once or twice but it’s probably one of my favourite places on the Island,” Q tells her as he sits down. James is sat on her other side already and she links her fingers with both of theirs and squeezes tightly.

“It’s so strange to be somewhere I’ve only seen in your pictures.”

“I have my camera, we can take as many pictures as you like,” Q says warmly, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand.

“I’d like that.”

Q smiles and shuffles down on the bench to rest his head on her shoulder.

“What is it?” she asks a few minutes later. “You’re nervous, Simon, what is it?” Vesper doesn’t sound worried - which he counts as a good sign.

He sits back up and glances at James, seeing the small smile and light in his eyes. It gives him courage and he gathers himself together for this, for her, for them.

“We’d like to ask you something,” Q says, not quite reaching for the ring in his pocket just yet. 

“Go on,” Vesper prompts, looking between them both with a warm - if confused - smile on her face.

“I love you very much,”

“I know you do, Simon.” Vesper releases James’ hand and turns to face Q properly, cupping his face gently.

He smiles and he wonders if his next words are already showing on his face. “I love you so much that I would like to ask, formally, if you would do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

Vesper’s eyes go very wide in the most delightful expression of shock Q has ever seen. The only sounds are the crashing of the waves and James moving to kneel in front of them both.

She blinks, shakes her head then looks down at James.

“You’re serious?” she’s speaking to Q though her eyes are fixed on James’.

“He is, we both are. I would also be honoured if you’d consent to be my wife.” 

Q see’s James’ throat bob as he swallows, see’s the hope in his ice-blue eyes. Vesper must know how much this means… even though she doesn’t know about the ring or James’ original plan to propose all those years before.

“James? Simon? I don’t understand.”

“Oh, yes, we should probably show you this,” Q shoves his hand into his pocket and pulls out his phone, unlocks it with shaking fingers and holds it out for Vesper to read. 

She strokes his cheek once more then takes the phone and reads the documents Q’s had preloaded since they got out of the car. 

The more she reads, the more she squeezes Q’s hand. After a few minutes that feel like a lifetime she locks the phone and hands it back to Q; who pockets it quickly.

“How on earth did you manage that?” she asks. “I knew I was welcome, I know you both love me, and you know I love you both more than anything or anyone else. But I had no idea marriage would even be possible.”

“It's an exception rather than the rule. We’re not the first and likely won't be the last but it’s rare,” Q explains.

“Less than three trio’s in the last 200 years have been officially allowed to marry and all of it out of public records… unless you work where we do and have access to certain files,” James adds.

He looks so hopeful but Q can see the beginnings of wariness edging into his eyes. The year or so they’ve all had together has made them stronger, brought them closer, but there are things James will always worry about - no matter how irrational it maybe.

“Vesper?” Q asks, “Would you like us to give you some time?”

“No, no, of course I want to marry you,” she tells him with such sincerity that Q’s heart leaps in his chest. “I can’t imagine not spending the rest of my life with you.” She looks straight at James. “Can you come up here? before I drag us both down there with you?”

James nods and stands on shaking legs. He meets Q’s worried gaze and bends to kiss him. He sinks to his side, slipping an arm around him, then holds his hand out to Vesper and brings her in to sit on his lap. It surprises them both, Q had been distantly afraid - for just a moment - that James would hide behind him again.

He melts into the reassurance James’ embrace can bring and, as he watches her, Vesper does too.

She sits up and kisses James, looking into his eyes and searching for the answers Q know are there. 

“You’re sure,” she says and James nods.

“We have a ring for you; it’s squashed in Simon’s pocket.” He kisses her cheek and squeezes his husband. 

Q laughs and, though it takes some effort, wriggles enough to get the small velvet pouch out of his pocket. 

Vesper slides her fingers into his hair and brings his face to her’s, kissing him, then saying, “You really do think of everything.”

“I try.” He puts the pouch in her palm and watches as she opens it - and the foam casing protecting the ring. “It’s custom-made and one of a kind.” He’s smiling so much that he can’t form the words as well as he wants to. “I had more than enough material when I made James’ and I’d kept the spare metal safe just incase.” 

There are three small jewels set into the metal; Sapphire, Emerald and diamond. Q chose them, and James the setting. No part of this ring has anything to do with the previous one James had bought. Q melted it down and disposed of it after making the new ring, needing to know James was happy with it first.

Vesper meets Q’s eyes and he nods, smiling at the burst of joy on James’ face when Vesper asks him to put the ring on her finger.

They stay snuggled together for a long while. Vesper keeps looking at her ring and running her fingers cross the surface. There are gentle kisses and touches between them all and, even when it’s time to drive home, Vesper holds onto both their hands until they’re at the car.

James drives and Q curls up in the back next to Vesper on the way back, her warm weight along his side and James’ occasional glances at them in the mirror.

* 

 

In bed, much later on, Vesper is snuggled down between Q and James and seemingly unable to go more than a few minutes without looking at her ring.

It feels both so very, very real and unreal all at the same time. She has no doubt as to M’s power to attain such permission but some part of her hadn’t ever really realised just how much they _want_ her with them.

At least not to that level.

And now she has something she’s wanted far too much to ever dare really hope for; a life with James and Q. A married life.

That’s the other part of it that she finds so odd. Marriage has always seemed secondary to love and a life together. Yet, James and Q have been married for years and it was the only part of them she felt she couldn’t touch and didn’t need to.

Now, she can, and soon enough she’ll be able to call them her husbands and that… that confirmation of their love and devotion is so utterly wonderful she can scarcely take it in.

James heads to the bathroom and she’s left alone with Q, turning into his warmth and folding her arms around him.

“Will I be able to have a dress, or is this going to be a very low key registry office wedding?”

His smile blooms slowly as she speaks, as if he also can’t believe this is happening.

“You can wear whatever you like,” he tells her. 

“Bridesmaids?”

“Yes, if you want them.”

“Laura and Eve, if they’re able.” She knows - having seen all the pictures - that R was his best woman last time and Vesper understands how important it will be for her to be so again.

Q kisses her forehead, and nuzzles his nose against her hair.

“Laura will be thrilled, Eve will likely be happy as well. Hmm, if James invites Felix he might get a bit of a shock.”

“I thought he knew?”

Q shakes his head. “We’ve tried to contact him several times to let him know but he’s been heavily involved in the clean up from last year and we’re wary of updating him over unsecured channels. Plus, from what I understand, the situation with his new wife is a little fragile. Not between them, but the higher-ups aren’t too happy with how they met or who she is.”

“That’s a shame.” Her heart sinks just a little bit.

“Depending on when you want to get married there might still be time to let him know, I have no idea if he’ll be able to attend, though.”

“Okay.” She yawns and closes her eyes. “That’s fair enough.”

“When do you want to get married?” Q asks and, despite how tired she is ,Vesper laughs.

“As far as I’m concerned as long as it takes me to find a dress and get everyone in one place - plus all the usual security measures you’ll take.”

“Hmm, two months, maybe three at the most. Unless you have trouble finding a dress, but we can afford to get one custom made if you know what you’re looking for.” She opens her eyes and looks up to see Q with his serous thinking face on. “Then there’s a hen night if you want to have one.”

“What did you and James do? When you got married?”

Q blinks and meets her eyes. “We didn’t have anything like that. I went looking for my tux with R and my grandparents. I think James went with Tanner. We managed to get everyone together for the wedding but we spent the night before at home with the cats. It was all very new; the house, living together in one location… it might not have been what most people do but it worked for us.”

James comes back in and, having caught onto their conversation, adds, “You didn’t witness Tanner’s awkward attempts at convincing me to come for a drink with Ronson and Moneypenny.”

“Was that the night you asked me to come and rescue you from the bar by the docks?” James nods. “I had to take the tube half way across London for that, and they wouldn’t let me take you home until I’d sat and had a drink with everyone. I did wonder why they all seemed so enthusiastic.” He smiles and turns to Vesper. “They had excellent cocktails but the lighting was very strange.”

She laughs and brings James’ arm around her when he slides under the covers.

“My grandparents took me and Laura to dinner the week before but that’s as close as I got, in fact James was supposed to be there then got called in for that meeting with M.”

James smiles. “The funny thing about it was she genuinely had no idea, she spent the evening going over the plans and security for the wedding. When we left and I told her where I was heading she looked the closest to an apology I’ve ever seen her. You can do whatever you want,” James tells her, kissing her hair, then the back of her neck as he gets comfy. 

“I’ll think about it, but I think you had the right idea of staying at home and relaxing.” Something occurs to her then, something she hasn’t thought to ask in the year and a half she’s been with them. “When is your wedding anniversary?”

“A few weeks ago, I think,” Q says, looking the most sheepish she has ever seen him. “We both forgot last year - with everything that was going on at the time - and when we did remember it didn’t seem important, so this year we just didn’t bother.”

James and Q both squeeze her tighter for a moment, holding her with their warmth and their love.

“It’s more important,” James says. “To celebrate us all being together and I promise not to forget the day _we_ get married.”

“Me too.” Q yawns and nuzzles down settle against her chest. He does this sometimes; she’s seen James sleep on Q’s chest too, in the same way. She’s not sure if it’s because they find comfort in listening to a heartbeat or just a habit they’ve formed over the years. Either way it warms her heart and she holds Q to her as close as she’s able, smiling against his hair when James tightens his arm lying over them both.

***  
“I bought you a ring once,” James says softly. 

It’s just the two of them and Q won’t be home until later that night, he’s caught up at work in meetings with M and Mallory. 

Vesper looks up from her book but she can’t quite look at James.

“It’s just something I thought you should know.”

“Does Q know?” She’s surprised how steady her voice is.

“Yes.”

“James…”

“No, no, it’s fine. Come here.” 

She does, and James lowers them down onto the sofa so they’re facing each other; Vesper tucked safely against the back.

“That’s why I made sure Q made your ring. We both wanted it to be something from both of us, from now instead of then. We were both very different people when we first met.”

“M said she thinks you would have torn the world apart looking for me,” she tells him, tightening her arm around his waist.

His blue eyes flash fiercely, then settle, and Vesper knows she has her answer.

“I might have done, but then there was Q.”

She smiles at the loving and fond expression on his face.

“What was he like when you met him?”

“Earnest and dedicated,” James tells her. “Confident. He made the wrong decisions a few times and rushed into things without checking but he always learnt from his mistakes, even if the guilt would eat away at him for a bit. He was too cautious because of it but he’s found a balance and now he dusts himself off and carries on. And he’s never made the kind of mess I’ve made.”

“Or me.”

“Vesper,” James soothes, running his fingers through her hair. He kisses her, lingering for just a moment. “We can’t change the past, and thanks to you and Q my hands are cleaner than they could have been. There’s probably more of my soul left, too.”

Vesper sighs. “I was too harsh back then, I had no idea what the world could really be like.”

“I still think you were right. Until I met you I didn’t really think about anything other than my job or my next seduction - often they were the same thing.” He rests their foreheads together. “You taught me how to love and what that meant. I don’t know if I would have lived long enough to fall in love with Q if I hadn’t met you first.”

“Without him I couldn’t ever have come home. James, I love him. I love him so much.”

James grins. “So do I. That first week with you in our old flat was hard… but it was such a relief to watch you both fall for each other. I still don’t think I deserve this, but you and Q do.”

Vesper presses her lips to his and says the next words against his skin. “I think for all you’ve seen and all you’ve survived you are as deserving, James.” She still doesn’t think she is worthy but neither he nor Q react well when she says it. “I love you.” Her words are heartfelt.

“I love you too, Vesper Lynd.”

She laughs softly. “You won’t be able to say that for too much longer.”

“You don’t have to change your name.”

“I don’t, but I want to. James, Simon, and Vesper Bond.”

They snuggle down and lie together, drifting off to sleep without noticing.

*  
A couple of hours later Q finds them asleep on the sofa.

He’s smiling as he picks up Feynman and scratches behind her ears. Tesla is asleep on the window sill above the radiator but Feynman has always preferred human warmth.

He leaves them until he’s fed the cats and had a shower, coming back in wearing his pyjamas to find them still sleeping soundly.

He could leave them alone but he’s been running on only a few hours sleep a night for the last week and he doesn’t think he can settle on his own when they’re down here.

So, he kisses James’s temple, then leans over to run his hand down Vesper’s shoulder.

They stir and he lowers himself to speak directly into James’ ear. “Room for one more?” he asks, knowing there isn’t possibly enough space.

James turns back and blinks up at him, raising his arm and patting his shoulder awkwardly. 

“Help me carry Vesper?” he asks, and together - though with some small degree of difficulty - they get her to bed and crawl in after her. 

James holds Q close against his chest, kissing his hair as they settle down.

“Tell me you have tomorrow off, you’ve been at work for 8 days in a row.” He’s concerned but they both know he won’t stop Q from going in again if he needs to. He’ll probably be called in himself.

Q yawns. “I’m off tomorrow, I promise.”

“Good.”

Vesper stirs and moves until she’s pressed up against Q, her breath settling once she is.

Q chuckles, then yawns, starting to feel himself fall under.

“Good night.”

James murmurs against his neck but he’s already asleep. The last thing Q feels before he joins them is the weight of both cats on the bed and the feeling of Vesper and James wrapped around him.

***

Their wedding is a lovely, quiet affair with their family and friends. Vesper looks stunning and both Q and James manage to compliment her dress and each others suits.  
They have holiday plans in Budapest - Vesper wants to show them the city she lived in for the last year she spent hiding - and they’re both quietly excited.

Currently they’re enjoying a quiet gathering in their home with their extended family.

R is dancing with Mallory - Q was surprised when Vesper had insisted he be invited but he is an admirable man who has earned their respect enough to be included in their wedding day - they look like father and daughter - or perhaps uncle and niece, but either way it’s nice to see R be less wary of their new boss.

M is talking to Q’s grandmother, Eve and his grandfather are waltzing around the dining room whilst Tanner and his wife turn in slow circles in the corner.

Until a few minutes ago Q and Vesper were up there, the three of them taking turns or standing in a swaying circle on the floor.

But Q is exhausted and, as happy as he is, wants to go upstairs with his husband and wife and sleep for the next twelve hours.

Vesper nuzzles his neck with her nose. “We can go to bed you know, R will make sure everyone goes home.”

“I know, but I feel like we should stay,” he admits, not wanting to waste a moment of their day. 

“I don’t think Mallory is going to make any moves on Laura,” James teases gently.

“She wouldn’t let him dance with her if she thought he would. She loves ballroom dancing but hardly ever gets opportunity to do it.”

They shuffle closer and rest happily together as they watch their friends and family enjoy the rest of the night.

“Come on, Q,” James says softly a little while later. “You’re falling asleep.”

He is, but he’s been enjoying a gentle doze in safe and happy company.

“Carry me?” he asks and both James and Vesper laugh.

“Fireman’s hold or piggy back?” James offers and Q grumbles, glaring at him before standing up and offering his hands out to them.

They say goodnight to everyone as they head up the stairs and R promises to have everyone out within the next hour. Q hugs her extra tightly in thanks, then lets his husband and wife coax him upstairs.

*  
“We’re married,” Q says gleefully over breakfast the next morning.

“We are,” Vesper agrees, running her finger over the metal of her wedding band.

James kisses them both on the forehead then goes to the kitchen counter to pour himself some more coffee.

He can’t stop mentally pinching himself - no matter how much he _knows_ this is real, he can’t quite believe how fortunate he is to have them both in his life. 

Q turns and gives him a soft and knowing smile, squeezing his hand when he comes back to the table; A silent show of understanding.

Then breakfast resumes and life - a life they can all share together - goes on.

 

Fin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so very much for the Kudos and comments - I really, really can't thank you enough for the support. I do appologise for the delay on this chapter but I've been - and am - pretty under the weather.

**Author's Note:**

> If there are any glaring errors then please let me know! My Beta reader is super busy at the moment so I've done the best I can!  
> Any comments etc would also be epic. I know this is a rare trio but it's good to share the love ^^.


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